Why Roy Was Chosen

1916

By E. L. Andrews.

"I'm going to hire an office boy," said Mr. Russell to his wife, as they sat at the supper table.

"How would one of the Wade boys do?" suggested Mrs. Russell. "They are such manly, businesslike boys."

"I was considering them," replied Mr. Russell. "I think I shall hire one of them, but I don't know which to choose. I want a boy who will stick to a task until it is finished. I pay my boys well, and I expect their best." As he spoke Mr. Russell arose from his chair. "I think I'll go over and talk to the Wade boys," he said. "Perhaps I can decide then which one of them to hire."

A few moments later, Mr. Russell opened the front gate of the Wade home. The two boys, Jim and Roy, sat on the lawn with the hammer, nails and boxes before them.

"Hello," called Mr. Russell, "what are you making?"

"Hello," answered both the boys, and then Jim, who was a year older than Roy, added, "We are building a tool box to put in the barn."

"And I have pounded my thumb three times," volunteered Roy, holding up that bruised member.

"You'd better tie it up," counseled Mr. Russell, examining the thumb.

"Oh, it will soon be all right," returned Roy, with a shake of the head; "it doesn't hurt a bit."

While Roy spoke, Jim was quietly gathering boards and nails into the box. "Let's quit for tonight, Roy," he said in a whining tone. "We can finish this tomorrow."

But Roy continued to pound nails. "I'm going to finish this tool box tonight," he said quietly.

As Jim disappeared around the corner of the house, Mr. Russell's face glowed with excitement. "Roy," he said, "I'd like you to be my office boy this summer. Would you like the work?"

"Like it!" echoed Roy. "Oh, Mr. Russell, I'd be so glad to have the job!"

So the bargain was sealed. As Mr. Russell walked home through the dusk, he said to himself, "I've found the very boy I'm looking for." And Roy, finishing the tool box on the lawn, paused in his work thoughtfully, "I wonder how he came to choose me, when Jim could have done his work just as well as I can do it." — King's Treasuries.

Note: That's a nasty story, as there's no reason why it'd be wrong to finish the project tomorrow. But it obviously hinges on Jim's "whining tone," and Roy's diligent persistence as to why Mr. Russell chooses Roy.

Holding His Job For Him

1901

"Of all the excuses I have ever heard from people for not paying their bills," said a collector for a prominent firm the other day, "I got the neatest today from a very wealthy man who always owes the house a bill. No matter whether the bill is for $10 or $100, he always pays $5. I have gone back the next week and got $5 more, and once I went back twice in one week, and he paid me $5 each time and seemed glad to see me. I got to know him pretty well, and the other day I asked him why he did not pay it all, as I knew he had the money."

" 'Well,' said the old fellow, "if I pay you everything I owe you at one time you will collect so fast that pretty soon you will be out of a job for the want of something to collect.'

"I don't know whether that was his reason or not, but I let the subject drop and am just going around there now for another $5. — Memphis Scimitar.

A Cheerful Soul

1902

"Hanks always looks on the bright side of everything. Do you know what he said when he lost his job the other day?"
"I haven't heard."
"He seemed to be quite cheerful over it. 'You see,' he explained, 'I applied for a raise of salary nearly six months ago and didn't get it. Think of how much more I would have had to lose if they'd given me the increase." — Chicago Record-Herald.


He Dropped the Subject

He was talking to the pessimistic, sharp-tongued damsel.
"Have you noticed," he asked, "that, as a general thing, bachelors are wealthier than married men?"
"I have," she replied.
"How do you account for it?" he inquired.
"The poor man marries and the rich one doesn't," she answered. "A man is much more disposed to divide nothing with a woman than he is to divide something." — Chicago Post.

Middle Course Best

1901

"It is hard to say which is the best thing for us," remarked the bill collector. "If nobody paid his bills, we should get no commissions, and if everybody paid them we should be thrown out of a job. Our profession offers no exception to the general rule that a middle course is the safest." — Boston Transcript.

The Pestiferous Corner Loafer

Chicago, 1910

A week's attendance at any police court will convince anyone that the curse of the town is the loafer, the professional "out of work" cuss who pretends to be hunting a job, and hunts well that the job may not overtake him.

He manages to live off of some one. If foolish relatives do not supply him with a living, he makes it by his wits, with the help of a brace and bit and a "jimmy" and friends (?) who through fear, or by influence will take the stand to testify to his character, hence he escapes and the community suffers. He can always find a way around the vagrancy laws, and like the poor, he is always with us.

Lost to all sense of shame or decency, he lives off a mother, brother or sister's work, or even a woman's shame, anything but work by his own hands. The health department is great on prescribing remedies for all sorts of evils, and we sincerely wish they would tackle this job of getting rid of the pestiferous loafer.

—Suburbanite Economist, Chicago, Aug. 19, 1910, p. 1.

Note: The typesetting on this editorial had some of the words and portions of lines switched around, and apparently some words left out. I patched it up to make it make sense. The question mark (?) after "friends" is as in the original, which may have been someone in the typesetting department with a bad manuscript wondering what was going on with the context. I think it's questioning whether the loafer's friends are really friends. But with the botched up text, the "com-" from community is hooked on to "friends" and someone might be saying, "What???"