THE IRISH SCHOOLMASTER

By James A. Sidney

"Come here, my boy, hould up your head,
And look like a jintleman, sir;
Jist tell me who King David was --
Now tell me if you can, sir."
"King David was a mighty man,
And he was King of Spain, sir;
His eldest daughter, Jessie, was
The 'flower of Dunblane,' sir."

"You're right, my boy, hould up your head,
And look like a jintleman, sir;
Sir Isaac Newton -- who was he?
Now tell me if you can, sir."
"Sir Isaac Newton was the boy
That climbed the apple-tree, sir;
He then fell down and broke his crown,
And lost his gravity, sir."

"You're right, my boy, hould up your head,
And look like a jintleman, sir;
Jist tell me who ould Marmion was --
Now tell me if you can, sir."
"Ould Marmion was a soldier bold,
But he went all to pot, sir;
He was hanged upon the gallows tree,
For killing Sir Walter Scott, sir."

"You're right, my boy, hould up your head,
And look like a jintleman, sir;
Jist tell me who Sir Rob Roy was --
Now tell me if you can, sir."
"Sir Rob Roy was a tailor to
The king of the Cannibal Islands;
He spoiled a pair of breeches, and
Was banished to the Highlands."

"You're right, my boy, hould up your head,
And look like a jintleman, sir;
Then Bonaparte -- who was he?
Now tell me if you can, sir."
"Old Bonaparte was King of France
Before the Revolution;
But he was kilt at Waterloo,
Which ruined his constitution."

"You're right, my boy, hould up your head,
And look like a jintleman, sir;
Jist tell who King Jonah was --
Now tell me if you can, sir."
"King Jonah was the strangest man
That ever wore a crown, sir;
For though the whale did swallow him,
It couldn't keep him down, sir."

"You're right, my boy, hould up your head,
And look like a jintleman, sir;
Jist tell me who that Moses was --
Now tell me if you can, sir."
"Shure Moses was the Christian name
Of good King Pharaoh's daughter;
She was a milkmaid, and she took
A profit from the water."

"You're right, my boy, hould up your head,
And look like a jintleman, sir;
Jist tell me now where Dublin is,
Now tell me if you can, sir."
"Och, Dublin is a town in Cork,
And built on the equator:
It's close to Mount Vesuvius,
And watered by the 'crathur'."

This website has J.A. Sidey listed as the author of the poem instead of Sidney.