ORAL TEST

TEACHER: Take four out of five and what do you have, Tommy?
TOMMY: Pyorrhea, ma'am.

I don't get it.

NOTHING COULD BE PLAINER
BUTLER: A lady wishes to speak to you on the 'phone, sir.
YOUNG LORDLING: How do you know she is a lady?
"She said, 'Is that you, old pickled onion?' when I answered, sir!"

Hmm, that one's lost on me, too.

Teacher: "Tommy, what is a relief map?"
Tommy: "A woman who has just had her face lifted!" -- America's Humor

Not clear to me. So I'll finish it off with another one I don't get:

ICHABOD
With uplifted eyes he once admired
Milady's golden tresses.
Now with down-cast eyes he is inspired
By silk 'neath shrunken dresses. -- S.P.C., Caballo, N. Mex.