Save Lots of Money by Not Shaving

1911

Wise Cracks in the News

A Massachusetts octogenarian who has never shaved in his life, claims to have saved $24,000 in that way, but most men would rather not have the money than the whiskers.

A lady smuggler arrested with $8,000 worth of jewels in her stocking claims that that's where she always wears 'em. Evidently we've been overlooking a good thing.

A few phlegmatic men who never become excited about anything are not going to buy a fruit farm next and get rich in one season by raising apples.

The fashionable dressmakers are still quarreling over the location of the waist line, and women will have to go along a while without knowing where it will finally be located for the season.

There are many ways of getting in bad, only one of which is to travel on a train which is about to be wrecked.

We are told that the day of the novel is ended. When we consider the alleged literature that has been perpetrated recently, we cannot squeeze out even the semblance of a tear.