Learning to Cook

1895

"No, ma'am," said the grocer, making a great clattering among his tins, "I have coffeepots and teapots, but there isn't such a thing as a jack pot in the store."
"I'm so sorry," wailed the young wife.
"You see, we haven't been married long, and my husband's mother has always cooked for him, and when I heard him talking in his sleep about a jack pot I thought I'd got one, for he mentions it so frequently he must be used to it. Could you tell me what they cook in it?"
"Greens, ma'am," said the grocer, and he sent her to the tin store in the next block. — Detroit Free Press.


When She Is Perfect

The Duchess of Rutland has perpetrated the little joke that "some of her relatives considered that the perfect woman should be a silent woman." Such a sentiment, says the Lady's Pictorial, could only have its origin in the mind of some such malicious male as the man who wrote the famous epitaph on a talkative woman:

Here, 'neath this stone, a lump of clay,
Lies Arabella Young,
Who, on the twenty-first of May,
Began to hold her tongue!


Had Settled One

Soph — Say, Fresh, did you ever see a $4 bill?
Fresh — Well, I guess yes! Had one presented me that time you invited me to lunch. — University Courier.