Eight Rules For Popularity

1902

First — Remember that a good voice is as essential to self-possession as good ideas are essential to fluent language, The voice should be carefully trained and developed. A full, clear, flexible voice is one of the surest indications of good breeding.

Second — Remember that one may be witty without being popular, voluble without being agreeable, a great talker and yet a great bore.

Third — Be sincere. One who habitually sneers at everything not only renders herself disagreeable to others but will soon cease to find pleasure in life.

Fourth — Be frank. A frank, open countenance and a clear, cheery laugh are worth far more oven socially than "pedantry in a stiff cravat."

Fifth — Be amiable. You may hide a vindictive nature under a polite exterior for a time, as a cat masks its sharp claws in velvet fur, but the least provocation brings out one as quickly as the other, and ill-natured people are always disliked.

Sixth — Be sensible. Society never lacks for fools, and what you consider very entertaining nonsense may soon be looked upon as very tiresome folly.

Seventh — Be cheerful. If you have no great trouble on your mind you have no right to render other people miserable by your long face and dolorous tones. If you do you will generally be avoided.

Eighth — Above all, be cordial and sympathetic. True cordiality and sympathy unite all the other qualities enumerated, and are certain to secure the popularity so dear to everyone. — New York World.

Child Is Wiser Than Man

1910

His Instinct Often Is More Reliable Than the Wisdom of His Parents

The imposition of any form of restraint on the appetite of a child is a relic of barbarism, a blunder on the part of the parents and a sign of ignorance of the laws of nature. Not only is it true that the child is father to the man, but in certain directions he is man's superior in wisdom. The prevailing parental notions on the rearing of children are crude, archaic and altogether unworthy of enlightened twentieth century civilization.

"Children have bottled-up intelligence inside of them," to quote the language of Dr. Woods Hutchinson, and this tells them what is best for them to eat. It is an admirable provision of nature. One cannot overfeed them despite all the old superstitions to the contrary. A child who wishes to eat between meals should be permitted to do so, for his system requires the food. If he displays a craving for sweets, the craving should be gratified, because his appetite is guided by an infallible instinct.

The wisdom exhibited by nature in this matter, as explained by Dr. Hutchinson, leads one to wonder what function parents are intended to perform. If the child's instinct is to be relied upon in everything, then parental guidance becomes superfluous, and parents are of much less importance than they have imagined. — Rochester Democrat and Chronicle.

"Bread Upon the Waters"

1900

The reward of a generous deed seldom comes more opportunely than it did in an instance reported by the Cleveland Leader. It appears that a prominent Clevelander named Cole, who has recently died, was forced to leave Cornell University at the close of his sophomore year, for lack of funds.

He went to New York, and began a canvass of mercantile houses and offices, in search of a position. Among many others, he visited the office of a produce merchant, who seemed greatly taken with his personality. The result of the interview was that the merchant said to Mr. Cole:

"Young man, go back and finish your college course, and I will foot the bill."

Mr. Cole accepted the offer, completed his course with credit to himself and his strangely found friend, and at once entered upon a business career. It was not long before he prospered in a business venture, and found himself able to repay the sum advanced for his education. He went to New York, sought out the office of his friend, and stepping up to his desk, laid down seven hundred dollars.

"Mr. Cole," said the old merchant, "if it were not for this money my credit would have been dishonored to-day. Maturing obligations would have gone to protest. You have saved me!" — Youth's Companion.

Narrow and Heartless

1899

There are two sisters whom everybody who will read their story here has met, in cities or farmhouses, at home or abroad. They have eyes and ears, the full complement of all the senses belonging to ordinary human beings, but they go through life blind and deaf.

Every morning, when they rise, God opens the world before them like a full book to tell of His power and love. The sunshine, the wind, every flower in the field, every insect in the grass, all the countless living things about them, have some word to speak of Him. They see and hear nothing of it all.

Around them, all through the days, press multitudes of men and women, each working out a little tragedy or comedy of life, each differing from the others, mean or noble, pure or vile, but all alike struggling along a path where help may be needed and life's burdens made less hard to bear.

These women have brains and hearts, but they never use them for the benefit of a single soul. They hold out no helping hand, they give no friendly thought to any fellow-traveller.

Why?

One of them is made blind by her sense of her own importance. The petty cause of her importance is known only to herself. There was a man of title among her forefathers; or she has a larger sum in the bank than her neighbors; or she numbers some fashionable woman among her acquaintances; or she has costly gowns. But she wraps herself in this remembrance as in a robe of state, and so struts proudly through life.

Her sister has a grievance; usually a different one each day; an aching limb; a small income; an idle servant. These cover her as his cloak covers the monk. She thinks, dreams, talks under their pressure. These women thus shut themselves in and are kept apart through life from the influence and help of nature, of their fellow-men, and of God.

It would be wise to ask ourselves, now and then, if we are in their case. Do we give out healthy, happy influences to people about us as we go through the world? If not, what cloak do we wear that shuts us in to our own littleness? — Youth's Companion.

Sandglasses Still Used To Measure Time

1900

A Sure and Silent Timer

Strange to say, the sandglass is still used to measure varying periods of time. The size depends upon the purposes to which they are to be put. The hour glass is still in use in the sick room, and in the music room, in both places affording a sure and silent indication of the progress of time.

Half-hour glasses are used in schools, and fifteen-minute glasses are used for medical purposes, and the sandglass also goes into the kitchen as an aid to exact cooking. There are also ten-minute glasses, five-minute and three-minute glasses, the two latter being used to time the boiling period of eggs. The three-minute sandglass is called an "egg boiler." Sand-glasses are also used for scientific purposes and on shipboard.

The sand is carefully prepared by a thorough cleaning, including boiling. It is then baked dry, and then ground into the requisite fineness and uniformity, as sharp sand would be likely to become wedged in the opening between the two sections of the glass. The sand is then introduced into the glass through an opening left for that purpose in the end of one bulb, the opening then being sealed, the right quantity in each sand glass is gauged by actually timing the flow from one part of the glass to the other, and every glass is individually treated like a good thermometer. The glasses are usually mounted in cylindrical frames or holders, so that the twin bulbs can be seen at all times.


Why We Are Like the Crow

Aside from the special question of profit and loss, we have a warm side toward the crow, he is so much like ourselves, said the late Henry Ward Beecher. He is lazy, and that is human; he is cunning.and that is human. He thinks his own color is best, and loves to hear his own voice, which are eminent traits of humanity. He will never work when he can get another to work for him — a genuine human trait. He eats whatever he can get his claws upon, and is less mischievous with a belly full than when hungry and this is like man. Take off their wings and put them in breeches, and crows would make fair average men. Give men wings and reduce their smartness a little, and many of them would be almost good enough to be crows.

Keeping Men Out of Mischief

1915

To keep its men out of mischief a big coal company inaugurated the garden habit among its miners. Result!

Pay day sees far fewer fights, much less money spent for liquor and a larger sum carried home to the wife and children. I learn from the manager that besides these immediate effects many of the miners are now able to raise a considerable part of the vegetables their families eat.

Some of the large iron and steel companies divert their men with music. C. M. Schwab is patron saint of a great band at Bethlehem.

There are four bands or drum corps at the Cornwall Ore banks, and the Frick company goes the limit in mixing music with coke, having 14 bands at its various works.

Give men something pleasant to do, and they will spend less money and time for things that are unpleasant. — Philadelphia Ledger.


Asbestos

The first use of asbestos was in the manufacture of crematory robes for the ancient Romans.


Trade Secret

"Now the first thing to learn about the shoe trade is this. As soon as a customer comes in take off his shoes and hide 'em."
"What's that for?"
"Then you can wait on 'em at your convenience, my boy. They can't walk out!" — Louisville Courier-Journal.

Advantages of the Spanking Machine

1905

"I see," said the mother of five, "that out in Peoria, Ill., they've invented a machine for spanking children. She cast a meaning glance at her son Willie, who shifted uneasily in his chair, but said nothing.

"I was thinking," she went on, speaking to no one in particular, "that I would send on to the inventor and get one of the machines. It would come in handy for me, and I could rent it out among some neighbors I know and make money on it. That is, of course, if I didn't use it all the time, which I might." Willie squirmed again, and thanked his stars the machine wasn't there yet. His mother went on.

"I s'pose they have various sized hands for the machine, to be used in accordance with the gravity of the spankee's offense and the spanking area presented to the spanker. For instance, for such offenses as hanging to the tall end of ice carts, about a No. 2 hand, with spikes in it would do. For riding up in the dumbwaiter and scaring the life out of the cook so that she gives notice, a No. 9 hand, with explosive torpedoes in the palm, wouldn't be any too big or heavy. If the machine works with a crank, as I imagine it does, the rapidity of the stroke could be regulated, too, and the severity of the punishment thus graded according to what the young man ought to have coming to him. "Of course, I'm merely talking from hearsay, now, but I think one of those machines on every street corner would be a good thing. They could build a little booth around it and charge admission. Then when a small boy, out with his mother, insisted on running across a crowded street ahead of her, and giving her heart disease by nearly getting run over by cars and automobiles, she could just lead him into the corner spankorium and attend to him good and plentiful. I think the city ought to know about this and provide such places.

"It would be a great machine to act as a deterrent. If a boy was bad you could say to him: 'Be good, now, or I will put papa's hand with the cast-iron fingers on it into the spanker and turn it loose on you.' That would do some good, and I don't think the small boy would think it a bluff either."

—Oakland Tribune, Oakland, CA, Dec. 2, 1905, p. 7.

The Fellowship of Dogs

1906

By R. H. Bell

I have seen a few wretches in my day; but I never saw one so utterly lost to decency that he could not be flattered by the friendly attentions of a strange dog.

There is some hope for the man who is capable of feeling ashamed in the presence of an honorable dog. That man has avenues open to him for advancement. His soul is still fit for expansion. When a strange dog greets him, he thinks better of himself — unconsciously he reasons: "Villain that I am. I am not so bad after all as I might be. You can't fool a dog; and a dog is no hypocrite; therefore, I have good in me which he recognizes." The fellow is a little surprised at himself and not a little flattered.

For my own part, I have learned a great deal from dogs. If I am natural, they set me the example in early childhood. If I am faithful to a friend through his disgrace and disaster, I cannot deny that a dog revealed this nobility of character to me for the first time in my life. If I have gratitude, I saw it first in a dog. If I have enterprise, he did not neglect my early lessons. If I have initiative, so had my first dog-friend; if I am affectionate, so was he. If I am patient in adversity and without arrogance in affluence, I could not have acquired his poise of mind better from men than from dogs. If I am watchful over weakness intrusted to my care; if I am forgetful of self in guarding my beloved, if I have the courage of my convictions, if I have any heroic instincts, I could have had no better teacher than a dog. — The Culturist.

Animal Traits

1907

Reminders In the Foal and the Calf of Their Wild Ancestors

It is an interesting study to note in domestic animals the traits of their wild ancestors. There are some characteristics, of course, which are readily recognizable as being similar to those of animals still in a wild state, and for this reason they give a fair idea of the life and surroundings of progenitors. The habits of the dog and cat are too familiar to comment on, but take the foal and compare his traits with those of the calf.

The foal when a few days old can gallop as fast as he ever can in after life. He never leaves the dam and takes nourishment in small quantities, avoiding a full meal, which would impede swift escape. In lying down no attempt is made at concealment, and when he stands his head is held high. These habits show that the animal's ancestors spent their lives in the open and not in the forests and that they were great travelers.

The calf, on the contrary, fills himself with milk and is a poor traveler. When danger approaches his first impulse is to conceal himself. He holds his head low in order to look under the branches of the forest. All his characteristics point to the fact that the ancestral home of cattle was in a moist, wooded country, while the primeval horse roamed the plains. — London Chronicle.

Noise — "You Gotta a Problem With It?"

1893

The Philosophy of Noise

Aversion to Disturbance is a Symptom of Neurotic Degeneration

A woman suffering from neuralgia stations her son to keep boys from making noise in front of the house. A boy comes by whistling — a performance in which we must recognize a natural, wholesome and boylike act, whereupon there ensues a short, sharp fight between the pair, in which one is accidentally cut. The upshot is not important; the origin of it is.

It has long been usual to accord special privileges to invalids in relieving them against noise. Formerly straw would be strewn in the street, and thousands of persons who were not sick would be inconvenienced to ease the pains of one who was. In part, this custom was one of ostentation. It could be practiced only by the influential who were exalted by making themselves a nuisance. When death ensued, a hatchment was set up in the same spirit of vainglory. All the windows in the house were closed for a term, the duration of which was fixed by custom, but which bore a relation to the estate of the deceased and the consequent degree of exaltation descending upon his heirs.

All healthy animals delight in noise. The description includes barbarous folk and children. Dogs bark (curs only sneak off), birds scream, boys shout, girls clap hands to their ears in sweet confusion, horses paw, all animate nature responds to the exhilaration of noise. The sick do not. In every form of sickness the nervous function is deranged. As we have seen above mankind has shown its appreciation of this fact by its customs. Excessive sensibility to noise is thus one symptom of neurotic degeneration. It is the mark of one broad distinction between the state of civilization and its opposite. It testifies to one part of the price which that state exacts from man on his physical side.

Within civilization itself indifference to noise is one of the distinctions of a system rudely healthful, both in body and mind. The converse of this proposition is equally true. Whenever a person displays peculiar sensitiveness to noise we may know that the case is one of an unwholesome mind in an unwholesome body. From the fact that the disturbance is essentially a neurotic one it follows that it is controllable to a great extent by the will. Much of the disturbance that is experienced from noise can be put completely aside by exercise of the will. A barking dog may keep one person awake while his healthier or wiser neighbor sleeps the sleep of the just. Under the pinging of the cable car bells a valetudinarian subsides into frenzy while his younger clerk is lapped in dreams of the equally unconscious typewriter on the next floor. The contrast here need not be one of relative strength of mind merely; one of the two minds is sick.

In such a case the willpower is impaired. It would probably be found that the complaining person is also irritable, passionate, perhaps consumed by self contemplation. In many cases of this order relief could no doubt be gained through treatment by suggestion. But in vastly the greater number the patient is competent to minister to himself. He is still capable of exerting the will, and in this exercise lies complete and permanent cure. Furthermore, the cure does not apply alone to the particular noise that may have called for it. It will be found to have influenced the mind permanently. The injurious effects attributed to noise do not proceed from without, but from within. They do not inhere in the aerial vibrations, but in the mental response made to them.

Finally it ought to be observed that the disease is one that increases by being yielded to. The noise that is first noticed as an annoyance in some moment of irritation, anxiety or other nervous disturbance can be nursed into an object of horror. Time was when folks thought sensitiveness to noise to be evidence of high strung character. They were rather proud of it and trotted it forth in public. The world knows better now. It erects hospitals for the Mrs. Wittitterlys, whom it rather admired in Nicholas Nickleby's time. It no longer holds poor Tom of Bedlam for inspired, and since it has learned how much sickness is either a fruit or a phase of ignorance it is getting a little sick of those sick folks, at least of whom it has a right to look for something better. — New York Evening Sun.

Animals' Power of Reason

1910

French Scientist Advances Arguments to Prove Their Possession of Thinking Mind

Professor Lipinay, who has made long researches into the habits of domestic animals, in a lecture the other day at the new Dogs' and Cats' home near Ruell, said that he was convinced that animals have a certain amount of reasoning power. He declared that a simple kind of reasoning and reflex thought must be admitted to exist among them.

Cats, more than dogs, he said, learn to imitate their masters' voices. A pet canine has different ways of asking for different things; and their cries are easily understood. This fact seems to prove that the animals make an effort to raise themselves to the level of human beings.

It is also well known that dogs, cats and birds having become familiar friends, understand the meaning of certain words without a person's gesture. The intelligence of a bird he compared to that of a child. If a strange canary is placed in a cage containing several others, all will stop their chirping and singing to look at the newcomer; and it has often been observed how one of the birds will pick a feather out of the stranger and bound away. This is merely to tease the intruder, as children are seen to do when strangers come among them.

As for animals in circuses which are so clever, this cleverness Professor Lipinay attributes to habit rather than any particular intelligence.

Docility of Birds — Parrots

Docility of Birds

1877

A parrot of some note, in Brook's collection, was notoriously dainty. If food was proffered which its instinct or caprice rejected, it would take it with its foot and throw it down with an exclamation which sounded like "There!" Food to its liking was carefully examined, tasted, and then conveyed to the bird's own tin dish, in which it was packed close by pressure with the bill. If any of the children fell or was hurt, Poll was the first to give the alarm, and did not cease clamoring till the case was attended to.

A gentleman taught his parrot to descend from its perch at the word of command and to stand upon his finger; then, on another order, it turned back downward and hung on the finger by one foot, retaining its hold although it swung about ever so violently. It was very vain, and enjoyed showing its wings. It would walk on the ground backward, if ordered to do so, walking in this direction with the utmost ease. It was extremely fond of music; and with movements of the feet along the perch, danced to all lively tunes, its wings also moving, and its head moving backward and forward in correct time.

By a peculiar working of the serratures of file which all parrots have in the upper mandible, against the lower, it diligently strove to imitate the noise made by a scissors grinder who weekly visited, the street; but finding that this alone did not quite serve the purpose, it had recourse to the expedient of striking its claws against its tin covered perch, and accurately observing the time of the turning of the wheel, effected so exact an imitation once or twice a day that the neighbors said the man had become a perpetual nuisance.

The Girl Who Is Always Good (poetry)

1878

THE GIRL WHO IS ALWAYS GOOD.

She never sighs;
She never grumbles;
She never cries
When down she tumbles.

She never soils
Her pretty dresses;
She never spoils
Her silken tresses.

With cap on head,
And wee hands folded,
She's put to bed,
And never scolded.

Oh, she's a pearl!
No mischief scheming;
There's such a girl—
Don't think I'm dreaming.

But not to tell,
Her name were folly:
You know her well,
For she's your Dolly!

—George Cooper, in Nursery.

Your Conscience Is Your Compass

1920

UNCOMMON SENSE
By John Blake

Your Conscience Is Your Compass

There are few men who do not know instinctively right from wrong. In their course through life their consciences are their compasses.

And those compasses are always in a convenient place, ready to be consulted. The thief knows he is a thief, although he may try to justify his thievery. The idler knows he is an idler, and is secretly ashamed of it, although he may find a hundred excuses for being idle. The man who succeeds is the man who uses the compass that nature has placed within him to direct his course and to warn him when he is going wrong.

He cultivates the habit of steering by compass. And he allows nothing to distract his attention.

Two lines that were greatly admired by Doctor Johnson are worth engraving on your mind. They are:

"Though pleased to see the dolphins play I mind my compass and my way."

Learn those two lines and their lesson, and you will be saved many idle and useless wanderings from your course as you navigate the difficult waters of life.

The love of pleasure is strong in man, and should of course be indulged to some extent. But to indulge it to the exclusion of the important business of making the port you are bound for is mere stupidity.

Be thankful for the "silent voice" that will give you your real position if you ask for it Be glad that the most useful information you can obtain is always at hand when you want it — the information as to where you ought to be bound.

Ships set forth through fog and storm, sure that while the compass holds true their course will be right, and they will reach the destination they desire to reach.

You too, by choosing your destination, can reach it, perhaps after delay due to storms or tides, but surely, if though you may occasionally watch the dolphins, your chief attention is upon your compass and your way.

—The Evening State Journal and Lincoln Daily News, Lincoln, Nebraska, February 25, 1920, page 6.

Wineroom 'Rags' Source of Evil

Indianapolis, 1913

Scientist Dissects Festive Syncopations and Finds They Spur Lower Emotions

EFFECTS ON MORALS LURING

Beware of "Portamento" and Chromatic Slides if You Want to Be Good

A few months ago, when Superintendent Hyland of the police started war on winerooms, he found most of his efforts futile until he struck at what appeared to him to be the heart of the evil — the wineroom music.

Raids had been made repeatedly upon places of doubtful moral character. Persons caught there were arrested wholesale. Some convictions were obtained against proprietors for violation of the Nicholson law. But such fines were promptly paid and offenses repeated. Persons arrested in the places, it appeared, had a right under the state and city laws to go there as much as they liked. If nothing further than being there was proved against them, City Court ignored the charge.

They went back. Then the ukase against music was issued. It caused consternation in the places aimed at, as well as in the first-class cafes and hotel dining rooms, but it necessarily had to include all to reach the ones desired. And it proved effective.

Now comes the question, "Where is the psychological point to the superintendent's order?"

WHAT IS THE LURE?

And again, "What is the mystic lure of music that, in the verbiage of the legal lights, aids and abets the evils that thrive in winerooms?"

Music hath charms to sooth the savage breast, but does it have some of the quality of an affinity, to attract those of evil intent?

More to the point, is music bad?

Or is there merely bad music that is bad?

Or do bad persons like music?

Or what?

And if so, what is bad about music — the melody, the rhythm, the words of the song, or all of them, or none?

There are different views. Not long since a minister was quoted as saying that if composers would only disassociate suggestive words from some of their more lively compositions of ragtime, or, at the least, nonsensical words, and set religious rhymes to their music, their names would go down in history.

There are two attitudes of the day toward the rag from different angles.

HERE'S HOW SCIENCE SEES IT.

A scientific study of the effect of music has been made by Henry W. Stratton, a writer in the Arena, who discusses his observations under the title of "Music and Crime."

He has found by experiment in one of the state prisons that many criminals are exceptionally good musicians. They are of two classes.

First, those whose knowledge of music extends no farther than the popular songs of the day and whose associations with such songs have always been of questionable character. They absorb the sensuous quality of music and can not be morally improved by it because the quality does not contain the necessary musical ingredients to lift them to a higher plane of emotion.

In such songs, this writer says, it frequently happens that where the melody is good and would of itself awaken refining impulses the words produce the opposite effect.

"Again, popular song rhythms are calculated to spur only the lower emotions," he says.

"If a tune is catchy the charm lies largely in its rhythm; the unusual syncopations act upon the listener at unexpected and unnatural parts of the measure and excite unhealthy, unmoral tendencies."

The second class of criminal musicians are scheduled as "darlings of society" who have learned to be musically voluptuous. They yield easily without question to all kinds of music and are unable to resist its enervating influences, They are mastered by their musical sensation.

Mr. Stratton has analyzed ragtime — picked it to pieces — to determine what about it is bad. He finds that a deleterious effect upon the moral nature of a listener is produced by voluptuous slides from one tone to another, called portamento.

"It induces languor and suggests to the mind a relapse from moral discipline," he says. Chromatic passages also tend to promote immorality, he thinks.

RAGTIME GETS THE HOOK.

All this is rather a condemnation of music which is abnormally syncopated, Which contains too frequent repetitions of the portamento and which brings chromatics into frequent play. No class of music quite answers the description so well, perhaps, as the rag.

But one might want to know what makes syncopations, chromatics and slides act so upon the human organisms.

Under the head of "Emotion," an encyclopedia says:

"Unconsciously the spectator, after hearing a musical concert sings and acts cerebrally, and a tenseness of the vocal cords and the whole muscular apparatus of the body results from the imitative effort to make the necessary sounds and to reproduce the necessary movements."

Music, itself, one might deduce, may entice the hearer to attempt an action of the emotion it contains.

But there probably are other conditions to be noted in a consideration of the effect of music in winerooms. Some kinds of music, per se, it is agreed, have bad effects.

A combination of this kind of music and of intoxicating liquors may have a worse effect; then, again, in an open room, it adds privacy to conversations over tables usually located too near one another to otherwise afford privacy. Again, it seems to be a lure for patrons, and, if patronized alone in winerooms and heard there frequently, would tend each time to recall other similar associations.

Altogether one might draw the conclusion that bad music in bad places is bad for good and bad people; bad music in good places is little better for either; good music in bad places has all odds against it; and good music in good places is better for both.

—The Indianapolis Star, Indianapolis, November 23, 1913, page 14.

Mothers and Flappers Agree That Modern Man Is Lacking In Morality

Appleton, Wisconsin, 1922

Two Letters Indicate That Women Do Not Think Much of Young Men of Today as Material for Husbands — Fears for Boys

We have been too hard on the modern man, perhaps, in saying that he is absolutely unfit to marry the modern girl, worldly wise and frank to a fault as she is. Surely many young married women and engaged girls must feel that our tirade against men like their husbands and fiancés is unjust and untrue. They are happily certain that the men whom they have chosen are all that can be desired in a husband and father for their children.

You women who feel that the modern man measures up to standard have as much to say in his favor as those women who claim that of all the applicants for their hands, none has been suitable as a husband. Tell the readers of the Appleton Post Crescent that your man was worth marrying and that you wouldn't exchange places with any girl who spends her days from 8 to 5 in a stuffy office or crowded store.

One reader of the Post Crescent sends this emphatic statement about the men of her acquaintance.

"Dear Editor — It is with great pleasure that I accept your invitation to express my opinion of the modern young man as a husband. I, for my part, would not marry the modern young man if it were the last chance on earth to get a husband. Who would want to marry a man that stands on the street corners, stares at ladies from the heels up and passes lewd remarks? The men remark about short skirts. In the olden times all women wore short skirts but the men did not think this a reason for insult.

"The modern man invites a girl out and if she doesn't permit kissing he calls her a stiff. It also seems as if they cannot enjoy themselves without a flask in the hip pocket, especially when at a dance and cannot refrain from smoking in ladies' presence. I do not know what it looks like to see a man tip his hat when greeting a lady. It simply isn't being done. And I think the reason why these men refuse to marry the modern flapper is that they cannot pull the wool over their eyes, because the flapper is too wise." — "NINETEEN"

And a more mature woman has this to say about the modern bachelor who is nearing 50.

"Dear Editor — Your contest interested me from the first and I have been giving it considerable thought because I have two sons of my own. My determination to write my opinion crystallized at a dancing place recently where the antics of an elderly "man about town" were nothing short of disgusting. My only hope for my boys is that they marry girls who will make them into men if I have failed to do so and keep them from being a menace to society such as this man is.

"He brought a rather young dancing companion and upon entering the ballroom, she went at once to the women's rest room to remove her wraps. The "old man with the young ideas" checked his hat and coat more speedily and spied a couple of men of his acquaintance who were with loud talking and evidently intoxicated women. Without hesitation he went at once to them and began dancing almost immediately with the better looking of the women.

"He continued to dance with her for at least 20 minutes and their exhibition was anything but encouraging to a moralist. In the meantime his poor little companion returned from the dressing room and sat forlornly waiting for him to return. The poor child looked as though she wanted to cry and who could blame her?

"And this man is the financially able suitor for the hand of some little girl, flapper though she be, who should not be allowed to be seen on the street with him. Let me repeat again, I hope nice girls will marry my boys and keep them from development into the type which has occasioned that now overworked statement: 'No fool like an old fool.'" — "A MOTHER."

You have to read these letters with interest. Write what you think of the modern man, young or old, as a husband for the modern girl who is just what men have made her. Your identify will not be disclosed in any way.

—Appleton Post-Crescent, Appleton, Wisconsin, January 3, 1922, page 9.

'Spanking Machine' Reforms a Village

1920

Both Adults and Youngsters "Undergo Treatment" -- and They Don't Come Back!

BRIDGETON, N. J. -- "Schoolboys here don't know that the 'spanking machine' in the back room of the city hall is a barrel stave with a handle carved on it," says Mayor Arthur C. Whitaker.

"It has been very successful since I established it about six years ago. I should say that between fifty and eighty boys and several adults have successfully undergone treatment. And I have never noticed anybody who has tried it once hurrying back for more."

He explained that he had laid in the staves with the idea that many boys might be propelled by them along the path of rectitude who might otherwise go to the State reformatory and from there to a life of crime.

Is Satisfied With Results

"I am entirely satisfied with the results," he said recently. "I personally know of several boys who have been started on the road to useful careers largely through its use. As a preventive of truancy, petty stealing -- that might lead to more serious offenses -- I can recommend it highly.

"Teachers in school obtain order immediately when they ask bad boys if they want to go over to the back room of the city hall and meet the 'spanking machine.' Parents have come to us and asked us to use it on their children."

The mayor said he never worked the "machine" himself, but that either Romaine Kincaid, truant officer, or one of the "husky" policemen did it.

First "Spanker" Proud of Job

"Our first 'spanker' was old Captain Woodruff," the mayor said. "He was mighty proud of the job, too, until he retired from the police force.

"Of course, no boy -- no minor -- ever is spanked without the consent of parent or guardian. Sometimes permission is hard to get, but when it is made clear that the alternative will be worse for the culprit, the difficulty ends."

--The Saturday Blade, Chicago, March 27, 1920, page 2.

Husbands Thrive on Spanking (Some Wives, Too)

1916, Click graphic for bigger version
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HUSBANDS THRIVE ON SPANKING

According to Recent Testimony of Their Wives

AND HABIT PROMISES TO SPREAD

Lemon Squeezers and Bread Boards Favorite Substitutes for Birch of Boyhood – Policeman Fears Wife May Attack Him on His Beat – Piano Tuner Finds It Hard to Keep Ear for Harmony.

Victims Hold Various Views as to Efficacy of Household Treatment, but May Unite in Alumni Club. Weaker Vessel Also Tanned and Cheerfully Admits She Likes It.

BY NIXOLA GREELY-SMITH.

Herewith the silly season is formally declared open. From this day on till the hot weather is over wise New Yorkers will not burden their sizzling brains with the Mexican problem, the presidential election or the success of the new offensive of the Allies. To spank or not to spank is the question of the hour. It's much too warm to think. If you don t believe it, read the letters which have been written in the last few days by husbands and wives who favor or oppose spanking as a first aid to conjugal concord.

Grown-Ups Need Birch.

The controversy was started by an innocent little document from a wife, who declared frankly that grown persons as well as children are the better for an occasional whipping, adding that her own husband had been changed from a drinker and smoker into a model man, with a good job, money saved and a fine home by the judicious application of these wifely principles.

Spare the rod and spoil the husband was this matron's recipe for domestic happiness. Many husbands, doubtless, would rather be spanked than nagged. Spanking, like war is only one form of the force argument, in many cases not so objectionable and not nearly so efficacious as hysterics or tears. The pacifists of the home, like those of the larger world, don't seem to realize that to put an end to physical warfare won't put an end to war.

Money as Weapon.

War can be and is made with money all the time, though every sword is sheathed and every bayonet sleeps in its scabbard. And war is made, pressure amounting to tyranny is exerted in many homes wherein the word spank is so discredited that it would not be let in the back door. Persons who decry the rod and the slipper as corrective agents may use meaner weapons. It has been proved that small boys when given a choice between a licking and a milder but longer and more boresome penance elect always to take the licking.

Boys Prefer Licking.

After all when you're licked for going fishing you can take the licking and go fishing again. So husbands given their choice between being lectured or spanked for staying out late at the club might choose the shorter and more merciful punishment.

Still, the husbands who have written their views do not seem to be as philosophical about their spankings as they should be. They do not take the broad, impersonal view of the wife, for instance, who writes that her husband has spanked her frequently and that she feels that her home is happier and she herself a better woman for the spankings.

The letter which started the spanking controversy and those written in answer to it are printed below.

Origin of Controversy.

"On the needs of spanking which were discussed in the world. I would say that grown people should be spanked, as well as children. Whipping has reformed my husband from a drinker and smoker into a model man.

"After a few months of misery I decided to take matters in my own way. So one night when he was half drunk and his pay half gone I lost my temper, took him over my knee and gave him a sound thrashing. I have spanked him often since when I took notion. Now he has a good position, money saved and a fine home. MRS. N. McC."

Likes Being Tanned.

"I would say that while I have never had occasion to even think of punishing my husband, he has frequently spanked me, and I freely admit the result has made our home life happier. I had been careless in many things and caused my husband much worry until he took the advice of my mother and soundly spanked me. Since then I have realized that there are many things I should not do and I refrain from doing them, knowing that if I am caught doing them my husband will not hesitate to place me over his lap and spank me. While he is never brutal in punishing me, he has tanned me many times, and I feel I am the better for it.

"I think there would be more happy couples if more husbands would do the same thing. I freely admit that my life has been made happier since I have been called to an accounting for my misdoings. MRS. A."

Spanked Twice Daily.

"Those very energetic wives who spank their husbands should keep that fact to themselves. My wife read their letters and was very much interested -- too much so for me. Last night I stayed out rather late at my club, and when I returned home received the surprise of my married life when my wife handed me the first spanking I received since my boyhood days.

"This morning at breakfast I remonstrated with her and attempted to stick up for my rights, whereupon I was taken from my meal and given another introduction to my wife's riding crop. A spanking at night is bad enough, but to start the day with one is simply indescribable. Aside from the humiliating fact of a man's discussing war at his club and then going home to be spanked by his wife, it will make husbands invent lies to tell their wives rather than take the spanking. My wife will in future get more fibs from me than truths. INDIGNANT HUSBAND."

Sees Trouble Ahead.

"Honest and truly I hate to write this letter, but the letters you've been printing about wives spanking their husbands makes me want to write this, because I'm always getting spanked by my wife. Honest, Mr. Editor, you don't know how ashamed I feel to tell this to the public but I'm just so full of it I can't help it.

"None of our relatives or friends dreams of the way she works off her tantrums on me. And the funny part of it is I'm a good husband. Well, you can see for yourself -- I don't gamble, drink or chew or smoke (save once in a while I smoke a cornsilk cigarette for fun, but as corn ain't ripe now I haven't smoked any this season.) Don't that sound like I am a good husband?

"I'm a piano tuner and work steady and give her my envelope every week, but a man ain't in much humor to tune pianos when his wife's spanking him all the time, is he? Outside of that one fault, though, she's a fine wife. Sometimes I think she's crazy on the subject because right in the middle of a quiet talk she'll grab me and lay me across her knee and let me have it. One thing about her she don't use no board or nothing, but gee, how she can hit! She's almost twice as big as I am. It's all right to say I made a mistake in marrying a big woman, but I thought the world of her. I do yet, and that fact makes me sore at her treatment. I stole down to the Polo grounds Fourth morning to see the Giants and Brooklyn play, telling her I had to work. I came home with a score card in my pocket and she choked the truth out of me. Then she took me on her knee upside down, Glorious Fourth for me! I don't think, I know I'll be sorry. I wrote this because she'll see it and when she does -- me for the arnica. The only hope I see is that she's getting rhoomatism. BELOW THE BELT."

Victims May Unite.

"And me grieving all these years in the belief that I was the only boob husband who was getting spanked! From the letters you've been getting I'm sure there are enough of us to organize an alumni. What a chance to swap experiences and exchange alleviation ideas! You can see from the letter I write I'm not a mushhead. Furthermore, I'm that much bigger than my wife that it might be fatal if I ever sought to retaliate. That and the fear of our domestic battles becoming public is what makes me put up with it. Then there is a financial reason.

"First along in our married life of nine years, when I tried to curb her furious attacks she used to smash the household articles. I found it was cheaper to let her strike me. I got to bending over and covering my head to save my face, and her spanking developed as a matter of course. While I'm at it I might as well tell the whole humiliating truth. She uses a wooden lemon squeezer. I'm a railroad clerk. We have two children and a Ford, but she never lays a hand on the youngsters. Anyhow, I feel better now to think I'm not the only husband who's getting walloped. OUCH."

Policeman Henpecked.

"Think of a policeman who permits his wife to spank him. Yes, I'm the policeman, I'm sorry to say, and I'm a member of a West Side precinct. Not only that, but I've got a medal for bravery. That's a laugh, ain't it. Those spanking letters you've been running hit me in the same place as they hit the other fellows.

"Here's my case: I've got only a few years to go to get on the pension list, and as I've got a good rep with the members of the force I don't like to spoil everything by dragging my family troubles into print. My wife knows she has me in a hole and that I dare not squeal. She even dares me to arrest her. Ain't that a fine fix? I'm sure some of the neighbors know she spanks me, although I try to stall by laughing out loud when she spanks me. It's hard to laugh, though, when you're getting soaked with a bread board. I got a terrible spanking the night of the last police parade because I didn't wave my hand at her when the parade was passing the library. Several times she's come to my post and threatened to attack me. Some night I'm afraid she will. I wonder how many policemen are getting spanked. PATIENT COP."

--The Washington Post, Sunday, August 20, 1916, Magazine Section, page 1. [Page 37 in microfilm archive.]