Aphorisms

1901

Brutes leave ingratitude to man. — Colton.

The root of all discontent is self love. — J. F. Clarke

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. — Bacon.

They that know no evil will suspect none. — Ben Jonson.

No man is happy who does not think himself so. — Marcus Antonnius.

Delicacy is to the affections what grace is to beauty. — Degerando.

He that takes time to resolve gives leisure to deny and warning to prepare. — Quarles.

When desperate ills demand a speedy cure, distress is cowardice and prudence folly. — Samuel Johnson.

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string. — Prentice.

There is a department which sums the figure and talents of each person; it is always lost when we quit it to assume that of another. — Rousseau.

Figs and Thistles

1900

Worry wears.

Haste makes waste.

Wishing is not willing.

Faith frames fate.

It is best to kill serpents in the egg.

Courtesy is never costly, yet never cheap.

When heaven is in the heart heresies are kept out of the head.

No man was ever healed of a disease by reading a medical book alone.

Only they who have known the great change now know no changes.

Good things are always beautiful, but beautiful things are not always good.

The indiscriminate lash will drive ten devils into the boy for one it drives out.

The prescription for salvation must have an application as well as an understanding before healing is found.

The difficulty that the Bible presents to many skeptics is not that it will not stand deep and rational examination, but that it will not stand superficial examination.

Patriotism is based on principles.

Restraining prayer is retaining care.

That only is done which the heart does.

God's work must have God's power.

No furnace can ever burn out the gold.

To take up a cross is to lay down a care.

— The Ram's Horn, Nov. 17, 1900, p. 5.

Child Is Wiser Than Man

1910

His Instinct Often Is More Reliable Than the Wisdom of His Parents

The imposition of any form of restraint on the appetite of a child is a relic of barbarism, a blunder on the part of the parents and a sign of ignorance of the laws of nature. Not only is it true that the child is father to the man, but in certain directions he is man's superior in wisdom. The prevailing parental notions on the rearing of children are crude, archaic and altogether unworthy of enlightened twentieth century civilization.

"Children have bottled-up intelligence inside of them," to quote the language of Dr. Woods Hutchinson, and this tells them what is best for them to eat. It is an admirable provision of nature. One cannot overfeed them despite all the old superstitions to the contrary. A child who wishes to eat between meals should be permitted to do so, for his system requires the food. If he displays a craving for sweets, the craving should be gratified, because his appetite is guided by an infallible instinct.

The wisdom exhibited by nature in this matter, as explained by Dr. Hutchinson, leads one to wonder what function parents are intended to perform. If the child's instinct is to be relied upon in everything, then parental guidance becomes superfluous, and parents are of much less importance than they have imagined. — Rochester Democrat and Chronicle.

Wise Words — "Whatever Love Undertakes"

1896

Whatever love undertakes to do, it does well.

A sunbeam in the heart is bound to light the face.

Some people might as well be crazy; they have no sense.

Labor is drudgery only when we do not put heart in our work.

A pessimist is not blind, yet he can not see even a bright prospect.

It is to live twice when we enjoy the recollections of our former life.

Some people prepare their excuses before they make their failures.

Everyone believes in friends until he has had occasions to try them.

Nothing succeeds like success. It can convert a traitor into a patriot in five seconds.

When we come close to a giant, he often turns out to be only a common man on stilts.

A little lovers' quarrel or two is a good thing by which to take each other's measure.

It is a question with many bright young men whether they will practice law, medicine or deception.

Never lie in bed thinking that the cat that is howling in the back yard will grow weary and go away.

A single man has nobody but himself to blame if things go wrong. A married man can blame it all to his wife.

It is not in the power of a good man to refuse making another happy, where he has both ability and opportunity. — The South-West.

Wise Words — "Get Experience Firsthand"

1896

Get your experience firsthand.

A burnt child dreads a whipping.

It is easy to make a failure of success.

Women make friends; men keep them.

Every man has enemies of whom he is justly proud.

If there were no wise men there would be no fools.

There is an old saw to cover every species of deviltry.

There are many days when the road seems to be all uphill.

Believe only half that you hear, and tell only half that you believe.

With a good many women interest is only another name for curiosity.

Some men reach a turning point in life every time a pretty woman passes.

Economy follows the acquisition of wealth about as often as it precedes it.

The average popular song attains its greatest popularity when it is forgotten.

Don't try to do right. The right is done without trying. — New York Press.

About every third woman is convinced that she is some kind of a martyr.

The man who marries only to "get a home" shouldn't kick if he doesn't get one.

Women will do much to please the men but more from fear of what other women will say about them.

Whenever a man does anything especially mean he is prone to lay the blame on poor, weak human nature.

Wise Words — "Frenzy and Folly"

1896

Frenzy is the safety-valve of folly.

How fast we learn in a day of sorrow.

If thou desire rest unto thy soul; be just.

Nothing multiplies so much as kindness.

The fire of hate usually flashes in the pan.

Humility is the truest abstinence in the world.

Discretion of speech is more than eloquence.

A sunbeam in the heart is bound to light the face.

Sometimes a man doesn't like justice when he gets it.

A man without mirth is like a wagon without springs.

It never does any good to talk religion with a snap like that of a steel trap.

It is easy to discharge a man who realizes that he is not entitled to anything.

The woman who marries a man to reform him is a noble example of wasted effort.

When you call a fellow a gentleman and he gets his back up it's a sign that you are lying.

The dignity of the law is interesting to contemplate. The men made the laws and then they represented justice by a woman with a bandage around her eyes. They have hoisted this travesty around on monuments and court-houses too much. Justice has been "going it blind" long enough.

Wise Words — No Man Wants To Be A Saint

1896

No man wants to be a saint unless he knows what it means to be a sinner.

It is just as easy to predict a severe winter as any other kind.

People never mean it when they say they don't care how they look.

Widowers do not have half so much fun as they are supposed to have.

It is to live twice when you can enjoy the recollection of our former life.

There are several things worse than disappointment in love. Rheumatism is one.

Unfriended indeed is he who has no friend bold enough to point out his faults.

The only way some people ever prepare for a rainy day is by stealing an umbrella.

A man's conduct is only a picture-book of his creed. He acts after what he believes.

Waste of wealth is sometimes retrieved; waste of health seldom; waste of time never.

The man who sells ice in the summer and coal in the winter is about the only fellow who can safely defy the elements.

Scandal is described as something which one-half the world takes pleasure in inventing and the other half in believing. — The South-West.

Little Classics — Literary Quotations

1900

To the pure all things are pure. — Shelley.

Self-trust is the essence of heroism. — Emerson.

A good laugh is sunshine in a house. — Thackeray.

Christianity is a battle, not a dream. — Wendell Phillips.

Children have more need of models than of critics. — Joubert.

The mind will quote whether the tongue does or not. — Emerson.

He who believes in nobody knows that he himself is not to be trusted. — Auberbach.

Nature has sometimes made a fool, but a coxcomb is always of man's own making. — Addison.

Show me a thoroughly contented person and I will show you a useless one. — H. W. Shaw.

Drive prejudices out by the door, they will re-enter by the window. — Frederick the Great.

Minorities lead and save the world, and the world knows them not till long afterwards. — John Burroughs.

Teach thy necessity to reason thus: There is no virtue like necessity. — Richard II.

But faithfulness can feed on suffering, and knows no disappointment. — George Eliot.

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never happen. — Lowell.

But, in spite of all the criticizing elves, those who would make us feel, must feel themselves. — Churchill.

The general root of superstition is that men observe when things hit and not when they miss; and commit to memory the one and forget and pass over the other. — Bacon.

Women have a smile for every joy, a tear for every sorrow, a consolation for every grief, an excuse for every fault, a prayer for every misfortune, and encouragement for every hope. — Saint-Foix.

Of Interest To Drunkards

1900

Vaccination May Enable Us to Drink Rum

It seems that the advance of medical science may yet allow a man to be vaccinated for the "rum habit" so that he will be immune. Not immune in the way that a "Keeley graduate" is — with a lost desire for drink — but in such a manner that he will be able to drink enough to kill an ordinary man and not suffer any ill effects.

Dr. Reynold Webb Wilcox, in writing of "Recent Advances in Medical Science" in the International Monthly, says: "The work of Ehrlich showed that the antitoxins may be produced in the blood by successively increased doses of ricin and abrin. Maramaldi applied the same line of reasoning to alcohol. Increasing doses of ordinary alcohol, well diluted, were administered to dogs through an oesophageal tube until tolerance was established for a larger than an ordinary lethal dose. The blood serum of these animals was employed in the experimentation.

"His conclusions were: (1) It is possible to confer a real immunity on dogs by administering progressively increasing doses of this poison, ultimately reaching very large doses without producing functional disturbances or organic degenerations. (2) The serum of such a dog rendered immune to alcohol, contains a special antitoxin, capable of neutralizing the toxic action of a dose of alcohol one-fourth larger than the minimum fatal dose. (3) Normal blood serum does not possess the power of augmenting the organic resistance to alcohol, much less does it explain the curative action in acute poisoning." — New York Press.


Aphorisms

Be a philosopher; but, amidst all your philosophy, be still a man. — Hume.

There is no friendship, no love, like that of parent for child. — H. W. Beecher.

To persevere in one's duty and be silent is the best answer to calumny. — George Washington.

Good humor and generosity carry the day with the popular heart all the world over. — Alexander Smith.

To improve the golden moment of opportunity, and catch the good that is within our reach, is the great art of life. — Johnson.

Deep Breathing Helped One Sufferer With Insomnia

1908

Troubled All His Life

"I have been troubled with insomnia all my life," remarked the nervous man, "and like most people similarly afflicted I have tried all the familiar dodges to induce sleep. The results were never particularly satisfactory in the way of producing the desired effect until one night I thought I had actually found a sleep-inducer when I chanced to grasp one of the rods at the head of my bed with both hands and practically hung the weight of my body on them. That sent me to sleep and it did the same thing for a few times, when to my extreme disappointment, I found it had ceased to work.

"I was as badly off as recently, until one night, when I had a bad cough, as well as an attack of sleeplessness. I tried the well-known remedy of trying to send myself off into the land of nod by taking long deep breaths. What it did to me, and has done several times since, was not to only send me to sleep, but to stop my cough. Just why it did so is not of much consequence. That it did so is the thing that concerns me most."


Poetry Wins Bandit's Heart

Prof. Bliss Perry tells a story to illustrate the advantages of literary wisdom. A friend, he says, was traveling in French mountains when on a lonely road he was stopped by highwaymen, his life threatened, and his valuables demanded. His literary instincts were to the fore, even in his extremity and half unconsciously he burst forth with an appropriate couplet, quoted from some obscure French poet.

"Hold!" cried the leader of the highwaymen. "My comrades, this gentleman is acquainted with the works of our friend, M. So-and-So! He is, then, our brother."

The purse was returned, courtesies extended, and the traveler and three bandits adjourned to an inn near by and spent a pleasant evening. — Boston Herald.

Short Shorts

1900

Conventional Wisdom

The duelist's aim is at the point of honor.

Some business men only win financial success through failures.

The fresh young man is generally not worth his salt.

If a lazy man is comfortable he is happy.

The woman who is fond of home isn't necessarily homely.

A vain woman is like a street piano — she is full of airs.

Never judge a man by his relatives — they are not of his own selection.

Every man who isn't prominent imagines he will be some day.

The boy who works in a bowling alley earns his pin money.

The aristocratic dentist should be a man of excellent extraction.

There are few people who think they are worse than they really are.

Wit is a diamond in the rough that is polished by adversity.

The only step from the sublime to the ridiculous is usually a short one.

The flustrated bride usually has all sorts of presence except presence of mind.

He who lacks time to make also lacks time to mend.

A woman who probably speaks from experience says a husband who can be led isn't worth leading.

You will observe that men who post as fancy whistlers seldom amount to much.

Return good for evil. If your enemy heaps coals of fire on your head, pile chunks of ice on his.

Judge Names 13 Mistakes in Life

1914

San Francisco. Jan. 5. — Here are what Presiding Judge Paul J. McCormick has announced as "Thirteen Mistakes of Life," easily made and not readily rectified, as a result of his long experience on the bench and at bar:

To attempt to set up your own standard of right and wrong and expect everybody to conform to it.

To try to measure the enjoyment of others by your own.

To expect uniformity of opinions in this world.

To fail to make allowance for inexperience.

To endeavor to mold all dispositions alike.

Not to yield in unimportant trifles.

To look for perfection in our own actions.

To worry ourselves and others about what cannot be remedied.

Not to help everybody, wherever, however and whenever we can.

To consider anything impossible that we cannot ourselves perform.

To believe only what our finite minds can grasp.

Not to make allowance for the weaknesses of others.

To estimate by some outside quality, when it is that within which makes the man.

The Cheerful Man

1906

By O.S. Marden

The cheerful man is pre-eminently a useful man.

The cheerful man sees that everywhere the good outbalances the bad, and that every evil has its compensating balm.

A habit of cheerfulness enables one to transmute apparent misfortunes into real blessings.

He who has formed a habit of looking at the bright side of things, has a great advantage over the chronic dyspeptic who sees no good in anything.

The cheerful man's thought sculptures his face into beauty and touches his manner with grace.

It was Lincoln's cheerfulness and sense of humor that enabled him to stand under the terrible load of the civil war.

If we are cheerful and contented all nature smiles with us; the air is balmier, the sky clearer, the earth has a brighter green, the trees have a richer foliage, the flowers are more fragrant, the birds sing more sweetly and the sun, moon and the stars are more beautiful. All good thought and good action claim a natural alliance with good cheer. High-minded cheerfulness is found in great souls, self-poised and confident in their own heaven-aided powers.

Serene cheerfulness is the great preventive of humanity's ills.

Grief, anxiety and fear are the great enemies of human life and should be resisted as we resist the plague. Cheerfulness is their antidote.

Without cheerfulness there can be no healthy action, physical, mental or moral, for it is the normal atmosphere of our being. — Success.

Pearls of Thought — "Telling a Woman You Love Her"

1906

The most fun that people have is in planning it.

Music lessons for a girl make more noise, but cooking lessons keep the peace.

If you tell a woman you love her she believes you even when she knows you don't.

People can afford to wear plenty of mourning for a relative if they were remembered in the will.

People seem to think nowadays that a man's son is a wonder to be able to make his own living.

A nice thing about being poor is you don't make enemies for refusing to found public institutions.

When a man kisses a girl on a dark piazza, she would scream if she weren't afraid of scaring her mother.

A girl knows an awful lot to be able to make men think that her knowing nothing is better than if she did.

Once in a while a man doesn't have to lie about what kept him out so late, but it's because his wife isn't home to ask him.

If a man ever got up early enough to eat his breakfast without swallowing it all at once, he might think the cook earned her wages.

No woman is ever so sympathetic with a widow over her loss as to forget to examine carefully the kind of mourning she is wearing.

There's hardly anything makes a humorist madder than to read a joke somewhere and have you get it off on him before he can on you.

A man never seems to think he is doing his duty to his country unless he goes around before election yelling his views into everybody's ears.

When a girl is so anxious for a man to ask her to marry him that she can't wait for him to finish before saying yes, she will pretend she doesn't understand him. — From "Reflections of a Bachelor," in the New York Press.

Words of Wisdom for Bachelors

1906

Candy catches more girls than poetry.

Half the time a girl gets engaged just for practice.

A man could be very fond of his sister if she were somebody else's.

There is money in most any occupation except the one you are in.

A man can keep a fair share of his popularity by not running for office.

It's very improper to do an improper thing you are going to get caught at.

A very rich widow can get very stout without any one daring to call her fat.

If a man did the things he tells his sons to do he would think he was a milk-sop.

What a woman likes about spooning in the moonlight is the way it doesn't hurt her complexion.

It takes a widow an awful long time to learn what she knew before her husband died.

You will always find that when a girl will admit her shoe pinches her it's over the instep.

A woman would be much crosser than she is if she weren't so busy trying to keep her husband from getting cross.

When a man tries to build a chicken house himself to save money it's a sign he is going to be broke for the next three years.

If a woman can't think of anything else to be miserable about she will go away from home so as to worry over the children.

Babies have very strong constitutions not to have spasms over every new language the women folk discover to talk to them.

A girl seems to have an awful easy time making a man think he wants to marry her, when she is the one that is doing the wanting.

There is hardly anything that tickles a woman so much as to have you remember her boy's name when you just happened to guess it. — From "Reflections of a Bachelor," in the New York Press.

Nuggets — "Genius is Inspiration"

1907

Genius is inspiration. Talent is perspiration.

Do not measure your enjoyment by the amount of money spent in producing it.

Education turns the wild sweetbrier into the queenly rose.

A vigorous initiative and strong self faith make up the man of power.

Be sure that the honors you are striving for are not really dishonors.

What men get and do not earn is often a curse instead of a blessing.

You can purchase a man's labor, but you've got to cultivate his good will.

Ignorance itself is a disease, the deepest, most treacherous and damning malady of the soul.

Worry poisons the mind just as much as a deadly drug would poison the body and just as surely.

While you stand deliberating which book your son shall read first, another boy has read both. — Success Magazine.

They Do Say

Massachusetts, 1916

That all the world loves to josh a lover.

That the lunch cart boys take their meals at all hours.

That the average messenger boy doesn't look like a runaway.

That taking all in all it is just as well dreams don't come true.

That a change of scene is the only thing to cure the vacation fever.

That some women show wonderful ingenuity in distributing an obese figure.

That some girls can be modest even though their skirts are short and full.

That sometimes 'tis love's young dream and other times it is a nightmare.

That while tenements are in great demand rents have been creeping upward.

That there's not much difference between taking a jitney and taking a chance.

That postal cards from El Paso, Texas, show that there are many fine buildings in that city.

That the fellow who hangs around looking for a political job ought to get life at hard labor.

That a few of our school teachers might with advantage have stayed in school a little longer.

That the fellow with the right kind of civic pride will not throw papers in the streets or parks.

That the price of meat is practically prohibitive for the poor man with a large family of small children.

That life is full of annoyances, including the man who comes in and presents a letter of introduction.

That some widows' soon wish they could take back all the mournful things they said after the funeral.

That the reason a woman always loves the sweetheart she didn't marry Is because she didn't marry him.

That there should be a statute compelling the gossipy man to wear petticoats.

That frequently the man who thinks. he knows it all doesn't know enough to keep still.

That while we wouldn't give our kingdom for a Ford, we'd consider one at a bargain.

That every time a fellow sees a girl driving an automobile he gets out of the way.

That Joe says there isn't any use of washing the windows when it looks like rain.

That the hens are beginning to get that independent look they wear when eggs are going up.

That Jack and Jill went up the hill to feed the little deer, and when they fed the little dear he acted very queer.

That there is a certain contradiction between downcast eyes and striped stockings — when they belong to the same girl.

That sick babies will gain more by one day in the woods than by taking any amount of medicine in the stifling heat of the city.

That a great many people who try to raise vegetables in their gardens show a woeful lack of skill in handling corn, potatoes, tomatoes and lettuce.

—The Lowell Sun, Lowell, Massachusetts, July 15, 1916, p. 4.

Words of Wise Men

1921

Diffused knowledge immortalizes itself.

A little commendation goes a long way.

Ambition to merit praise fortifies our virtue.

He who does what he can has done what he ought.

The strength of will is the test of a young man's possibilities.

Truth is a mighty instrument, whatsoever hand may wield it.

All the best men have been best because they possessed "ideals."

The thought that conquers the world not contemplative but active.

Some doubts are as generous and passionate as the very noblest conditions.

Every noble life leaves the fiber of it interwoven with the work of the world.

To strive with difficulties and to conquer them is the highest human triumph.

Advertisement (1895) — Two Frogs in The Milk Can Fable

Middletown, New York, 1895

TWO FROGS.

Once upon a time, two frogs without being consulted in the matter, found themselves shut up in a milk can and on their way to market. They soon found they could not live below the surface, and they had to kick vigorously in order to keep your heads above the milk. One of them, after working hard for a time, became discouraged and said, "There's no use kicking longer; let's give up and go the bottom." The other frog said, "Oh, no, let's keep on kicking as long as we can, and see what the outcome will be; we may get out alive yet." The other frog said, "It's no use," and went to the bottom. The other frog did not give up but kept on kicking, and when the can was opened he had kicked out a lump of butter on which he was floating with ease. The moral is plain — during such times as these, do not get discouraged and go down, but keep right on kicking, and perhaps a few more kicks will bring the butter.

We take this opportunity to remind you that we are still kicking way at 30 North street, and will appreciate very much any orders or business that you can give us or turn our way.

Our special kick, to-day, is Japanese Tooth Brushes. The Japs beat the world on good Tooth Brushes at low prices. We've captured a window full of 'em. Try one with our Ivory Tooth Wash.

McMonagle & Rogers, Druggists.

—Middletown Daily Argus, Middletown, New York, March 18, 1895, p. 5.

Blushing – The Learned Darwin's Take on It

1874

The man who does not blush now and then is scarcely human. According to Darwin, blushing originated at a very late period in the long line of our descent. The learned thinker explains: "The relaxation of the small arteries of the surface, on which blushing depends, seems to have primarily resulted from earnest attention directed to the appearance of our own persons, especially of our faces, aided by habit, inheritance, and the ready flow of nerve-force along accustomed channels; and afterwards, to have been extended by the power of association to self-attention directed to moral conduct."

There are some men who lie brazenly, so repeatedly and so persistently in the very face of the truth, that the question may well be asked if they ever blush. Certainly they have no scruples in regard to moral conduct. The coarse animal must linger in these men, for their conscience is dead and they do not know the meaning of morality.

Darwin holds that it does not seem possible that any animal, until mental powers had been developed to an equal degree with those of man, would have been sensitive about its personal appearance or moral conduct. Hence it is his opinion that animals have not the power to blush. Impudent liars and braggarts, also, never blush, and so they are hardly human.


The Boy and the Nuts

A boy once found some nuts in a jar. Like all boys, he was fond of nuts, and was glad to hear that he might put his hand once in the jar, and have all the nuts he could then take out. He thrust his hand down the neck of the jar, and took hold of all the nuts he could. When his hand was quite full, he did his best to draw it out of the jar. But the neck of the jar was small, and his hand was so full of nuts, that he could not draw it out. He felt so sad, that tears fell from his eyes. His friend who stood near told him to let go half the nuts. He did so, and then drew out his hand with ease. We shall find it so in life: men lose all, if they try to get too much.


What is the difference between a tenant and the son of a widow? The tenant has to pay rents, but the son of a widow has not two parents.