DON'T WORRY, MISTER

Old gentleman -- Boys, be careful you don't pick toadstools instead of mushrooms. They are very easily confused.
Spokesboy -- Don't worry, mister, We ain't goin' to eat 'em ourselves; we're goin' to sell 'em. -- Boston Transcript.

"What's the matter with Senator Wombat?"
"He can't seem to realize that he can't end this war with a resolution." -- Kansas City Journal.

She -- Don't you think you ought at least to make enough money to support me?
He -- It wouldn't make any difference; even then I couldn't support you. -- Life.

"Vaudeville is getting more sophisticated all the time."
"What now?"
"A difficult juggling turn used to travel on its own merits, but now it's no good unless performed on roller skates." -- Louisville Courier-Journal.