"Look at the Expense"

1895

An old couple fell ill of old age together. The husband died, but the wife had more vitality. On the day following her husband's death she was better, and the doctor was congratulating himself on the success of his treatment. But the woman's point of view was different. She complained bitterly, for, as she forcibly pointed out, "Ef ee'd lat me alone, one funeral 'ud a done for us two, an look what it'll cost now berrying two of us separately!" — Westminster Budget.


Wheat

The average yield of wheat in Russia is 500 pounds to each 100 pounds of seed; in Great Britain, Holland and the United States, 900; in Italy, 1,000.


A Little Dangerous.

He (designingly) — What a terrible thing it would be if some rascal should marry you for your money!
She (discouragingly) — It would be for him — if I found it out. — New York Weekly.


Rice

Rice is not mentioned in the Old Testament and only once or twice in the Talmud. It is not found in Egyptian tombs at a date prior to B. C. 500.

Penguin, Blubber, Their Daily Diet

1916

ONCE THEY DINE ON FISH FROM SEAL'S STOMACH.

Lacking Tobacco, Shackleton's Marooned Men Smoke Grass Taken From Boot Padding.

LONDON, England, Sept. 14. — Life on Elephant Island, in the Antarctic, as it was experienced by the marooned men of Lieutenant Sir Ernest Shackleton's south polar expedition, who were rescued recently and taken to Chili, is described in a message received from Punta Arenas and published in the Daily Chronicle.

"The day began," says the description, "with breakfast, which consisted merely of penguin, fried in blubber, with a drink of water. The morning's duties consisted in clearing away snowdrifts and catching penguin.

"Lunch was served at 1 o'clock, consisting of a biscuit with raw blubber. The afternoon was occupied with regular exercise over a track 100 yards in length.

Smoke Grass From Boots.

"At 5 o'clock, when darkness fell, came dinner, consisting of penguin breast and beef tea. Lacking tobacco, the men smoked grass from the padding in their boots, while the pipes were carved from birds' bones and wood.

"The members of the party took turns in reading aloud from the only available books, namely, the Bible, an encyclopedia, Browning, Bacon's Essays and Carlyle's French Revolution. Saturday evening was always marked by a concert, the feature of which was banjo playing. A banjo was the only musical instrument in camp.

Fish as Change of Diet.

"On one occasion there was a welcome addition to the diet when several undigested fish were found in the stomach of a seal, and greatly enjoyed. These were the only fish obtained during our stay. In August there was a change in the diet when limpets were gathered and seaweed was available as a vegetable.

"We were in the midst of one of these limpet and seaweed lunches when the rescue boat was sighted.

"'When was the war over?' was the first question we asked."

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Sept. 16, 1916, p. 5.

The Revelation of St. John the Divine

This is a new blog I started. It features clips and thoughts on the Book of Revelation. I'm putting the link to it here because for some reason Google is not indexing it yet.

Wrong Meaning of Message

1915

Young Wife Makes Amusing Interpretation of Scripture in a Telegram From Girl Friend

They were speaking of the remarkable way in which telegraphic messages are occasionally interpreted, and this story was recalled by Governor- elect David I. Walsh of Massachusetts.

Some time ago the stork visited the home of a happy young couple in a New England town, and wishing to notify her girl chum who lived in a distant city, the mother sent the following telegram:

"For unto us a child is born. — Isaiah 9:6."

"Oh, John," exclaimed the girl chum to her husband on receiving the dispatch. "I have just got a telegram from Gladys and what do you think?"

"You have got me chucked out at first in the conundrum game," indulgently smiled John. "What's the answer?"

"Gladys has a baby boy!" enthusiastically responded little wifey. "His name is Isaiah and he weighs nine pounds and six ounces!" — Philadelphia Telegraph.

The Growing Passion for Music

1906

By Rupert Hughes

Whatever the percentage of American musical illiteracy may have been a few years ago, it is beyond denial that there is a tremendous change at work. The whole nation is feeling a musical uplift like a sea that swells above a submarine earthquake.

The trouble hitherto has not been that Americans were of a fibre that was dead to musical thrill. Our hearts are not of flannel, and we are not a nation of soft pedals. We have simply been too busy hacking down trees and making bricks without straw, to go to music school. But now, the sewing machine, the telephone, the typewriter and the trolley car are sufficiently installed to give us leisure to take up music and see what there is in it.

We are beginning to learn that, while The Arkansas Traveler, Money Musk, and Nellie Was a Lady are all very well in their way, there are higher and more interesting things in music. There is an expression which musicians hear every day: "I am passionately fond of music but I don't understand it. I know what I like, but I can't tell why."

This speech has become a byword among trained musicians, but it indicates a widespread condition that is at once full of pathos and of hope. America as a nation is "passionately fond of music." It needs only an education in the means of expression. — Good Housekeeping.



Much Against Being Rich

1906

Bishop Gore was the preacher at the opening of the English Church Congress. "The late master of Balliol," he told the great congregation, "used often to say, in his detached way, that he was afraid there was much more in the New Testament against being rich and in favor of being poor than we liked to recognize."

Changes in Weddings — Fewer Vows Made "To Obey"

1910

OMISSIONS AT THE ALTAR

Many Brides Who Now Refuse Make the Verbal Promise of Obedience

This year, as usual, some of the June brides got into the newspapers by refusing to make the verbal promise of obedience "till death us do part," as required by "The Form of Solemnization of Matrimony," specified in the Book of Common Prayer.

The full ceremony includes the exaction of a vow to "serve him," likewise, "so long as ye both shall live;" and it furthermore comprises several admonitions quoted from St. Paul and St. Peter, all to the one effect, wifely subjection. Any other point of view could hardly have been expected from spokesmen of the first century oriental community, particularly not from St. Peter, who himself was married, and who would, therefore, probably not have wished to upset an ancient, popular tradition no less convenient for his sex — than venerable.

Despite the eastern origin of its faith, the Christian world has managed to de-orientalize itself a good deal in nineteen hundred years, and the flavor of orientalism, which, quite naturally, attaches to the "Solemnization of Matrimony," is not now entirely to the taste of all western women — or men. But aren't the fair modern occidental Protestants rather illogical? They refuse to promise "to obey" a man for a single minute, although obedience is purely an act of volition, not requiring the smallest regard or respect for the person obeyed, or even acquaintance with him. On the other hand, the brides find it easy to swear "to love" a man forever, although love is a thing completely beyond control of the will!

Deign, if you please, Mesdames les Divorcees and others, to acknowledge that the great fundamental reason of marital discord, infelicity and wreck is the cessation of that feeling "to love," whose perpetual continuance it appears so very easy to pledge. Moreover, nobody ever alleges post-nuptial disinclination or even refusal "to obey" as a sufficient provocation for divorce. Of those two covenants, why object to the lightest? — Collier's.

Beauty – Calling a Woman "Pretty" is Merely Conventional

1877

Pretty women are spoken of as if they, of all others, were the elect; as if woman's sole claim to admiration rested on her possession of fine eyes or luxuriant hair. "Is she pretty?" is the first question asked concerning a new acquaintance, as though that embraced the whole subject.

If a man likes a woman he generally considers her "pretty," for the term is merely conventional. A pretty woman, in the private lexicon of masculinity, signifies a woman interesting from whatever cause. Who has not known women to be called pretty that could hardly boast of a single handsome feature? Who has not been acquainted with those enjoying a wide reputation for prettiness that had almost any other than a physical charm? She who has a distinctly graceful manner, or an elegant air, or fine tact, or a talent for conversation, or quick sympathies, or cordial ways, or a heart of listening well, albeit plain in face and of ordinary figure, is frequently styled pretty, and the adjective is repeated until it is fastened upon and constantly associated with her.

Merely pretty women do not rule society — never did and never will. When beauty is allied to pleasant manners, or accomplishments, tact, quick wit, then, indeed, it is all-powerful; otherwise a really plain woman who had conspicuous graces of mind and manner will prove more than a match for her beautiful, insipid sisters.



Jonah and the Whale

A naturalist walks boldly to the front and announces that the preservation of Jonah in the whale's belly was not a miracle. The throat of the whale is large, and is provided with a bag or intestine, so considerable in size that the whales frequently take into it two of their young ones when weak, and especially during a tempest. As this receptacle is furnished with two vents that serve for inspiration, it is claimed that Jonah could have lived there comfortably and, with reasonable amount of furniture, many years, provided he could obtain food and drink.



Emotions of a Mother's Heart

A mother may never find words in which to express the emotions which surge through her heart on finding her babe, just dressed in its Sunday best, stirring the contents of a bottle of ink into the coal ashes with the hair-brush but she will try to, and try with all her might.

The Legend of the Felt Hat

1874

There is a legend among the hatters that felt was invented by no less a personage than St. Clement, the patron saint of their trade. Wishing to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Sepulchre, and at the same time to do penance for sundry unexpiated peccadilloes, the pious monk started on his journey afoot. As to whether he was afflicted with corns or kindred miseries, the ancient chronicle from which this information is derived is silent; but, at all events, a few days' successive tramping soon began to blister his feet. In order to obtain relief, it occurred to him to line his shoes with the fur of a rabbit. This he did, and, on arriving at his destination, was surprised to find that the warmth and moisture of his feet had worked the soft hair into a cloth-like mass. The idea thus suggested he elaborated in the solitude of his cell, and, finally, there being no patent laws in existence in those days, he gratuitously presented to his fellow- mortals the result of his genius in the shape of a felt hat.


The English Language

In the English Bible and in the works of authors living in the times of King James the word "his" is employed in the sense in which we now use "its." Years ago Richard C. Trench asserted that, in the "authorized version of the Bible 'its' does not once occur." This statement is sustained by Webster and Worcester, but it has recently been discovered that Leviticus, twenty-fifth chapter and fifth verse, reads, "that which groweth of its own accord." This verse reads as above in the modern editions of the Bible, but the change may be one of those corrections that have gradually slipped into the text. An examination of the early editions only can settle the question.


A gentleman, while walking in his garden, caught his gardener asleep under a tree. He scolded him soundly for his laziness, and ended by telling him such a sluggard was not worthy to enjoy the light of the sun. "It was for that reason exactly," said the gardener, "that I crept into the shade."

Singular Freaks of Nature — Cut Hair Continues to Grow

1878

Says an exchange: Our old friend, Dr. S. Haly, has exhibited to us a lock of hair cut from his boy's head when eighteen months old, and since carefully wrapped up, marked and laid away in the family Bible. At that time the lock was two inches long. Now it is fully six inches, and seems to be still growing with all its old-time lustre, fineness and beauty preserved. The son is alive and sixteen years old. The Doctor assures us there can be no mistake as to the identity of the hair, and wants an explanation. We know the hair and nails of corpses are known to flourish for a while, but these have whereupon to feed. This lock of hair had not.


A Strange Fish

One day last week, after a hard struggle, George Whitney captured on Cockenoes bar off Norwalk, a fish seldom seen in these parts. It answered the description given by ichthyologists of the goose fish or angler, also known as the fishing frog. It was four or five feet long, nearly as broad, flat, had one flap on each side something like a scale with an opening or pocket behind running forward under the mouth, and two small legs with five toes webbed together. The strangest feature, however, was its immense mortar-shaped mouth. When open it was frightful to contemplate, and would just about comfortably take in an ordinary keg. It was on exhibition for several days. It is a worthless fish and lives on muddy bottoms. — New Haven Palladium.

Throwing Old Shoes After a Bride

1878

The slipper or shoe is popularly supposed to be thrown for good luck, and in some parts of Europe the custom is to throw it after sailors about to go on a voyage, and after all who enter on perilous enterprises, such as marriage.

A writer in Notes and Queries traces it back to the Hebrews, where it had a different meaning, symbolizing a transfer of authority or dominion. References to this custom may be found in Psalm ix, Psalm cix, and in Deut. xxv. He supposes that the receiving of a shoe was an evidence and symbol of asserting or accepting dominion or ownership; the giving back a shoe the symbol of rejecting, or resigning it. He thinks that originally the throwing of the shoe after the bride was a symbol that the father or guardian renounced his authority over her, and the receipt of the shoe by the bridegroom, even if accidental, was an omen that that authority was transferred to him. There is no doubt that such was sometimes the meaning of the transfer of a shoe.

It is related by a Danish poet that a Norwegian king in the eleventh to twelfth century, having conquered a portion of Ireland and Scotland, sent to Ireland his dirty shoes and commanded the king, who lived there, "to wear them with honor on Christmas day in his royal state, and to own that he had his power and kingdom from the Lord of Norway and the Isles." If such was the original meaning of shoe-throwing, it has now lost its significance. Instead of one shoe, a dozen or more are thrown, and in some countries wheat, rice, etc., accompany or take the place of old shoes. The supposed meaning to-day is that the shoe thrown after a newly-married couple will give them good luck.

The Thirsty Leech – Old-Time Aid to Blood-Letting

1890

THE THIRSTY LEECH.

AN OLD-TIME AID TO BLOOD LETTING.

An Industry that is Now but the Shadow of What it Once Was.

According to the psalmist "The daughters of the horse-leech cry continually, "Give, give." According to the natural history neither the horse-leech nor his daughters do anything of the sort, the appetite of this variety of the once popular worm being quite easily satisfied. Neither has it the blood-sucking tastes of the ordinary leech, for it is well established that it will not attack man, while it is equally well known that the leech of the medical world will. It is doubtful whether it ever attaches itself to horse or other animals and it is content to make a meal off another worm, which it does by swallowing it whole after the fashion of that other worm, the snake. The horse-leech, it is true, is big and looks fierce, but, as in the case of the big black ant and the little red one, it is the little one that is to be avoided. Lastly, although this objection may be considered hypercritical, the horse-leech never had any daughters, all of its children being bi-sexed, true hermaphrodites.

Possibly what the erudite translators of the Old Testament set down in Saxon as the horse-leech was not the horse-leech at all in the original, or perhaps what was meant was the leech which is gathered by horses. In the great leech ponds and streams of Europe and Asia, a big haul of the worm used to be made by driving horses in the infected localities. The little bloodsuckers would then fasten themselves to the poor animal's legs and body, from which, when the worms were saturated, the gatherers would pick them off. Leeches have to be gathered with a little more care, the sources of supply having become much more limited than they were fifty years ago. They formerly inhabited in great numbers the marshes and streams of most countries of Europe, but now they are successfully cultivated only in France and Hungary, although they come from Turkey, Wallachia, Russia, Egypt and Algeria. The best leeches were long supposed to come from Sweden, but the supplies have run short. Paris is now the center of the European export trade, many of the leeches that come from there being labeled as Swedish.

Prior to 1839 there was no regular import trade of leeches into this country, the supply being kept up by sea captains who occasionally brought them over in small numbers on private speculation. Leechers were, therefore, obliged to depend largely on the native leech for drawing blood, the native species being in considerable demand during the early part of the present century. It was found that there were many American species, its habitat being quite widely distributed, but the best came from Eastern Pennsylvania, especially Berks and Bucks counties. The European species is generally conceded to be superior to the American, but during the earlier period of importation the prices charged for the European blood-sucker was so high that the American leech held its ground for a time. Gradually, however, prices fell, until now, although the European leech is still a trifle more expensive than the native. Its cost is so slight that it is almost universally employed, excepting in special cases, and in a few localities where the American leech is preferred. No American leeches, it is believed, are now used in any American city except Philadelphia, where they are still in slight demand. In fact, the latter city appears to have held to the old custom of leeching more than any other American city of which there is any information. Now, perhaps, scarcely more than 1,000 American leeches are used in a year, although more than that number are sold to the druggist, the supply coming from one person who collects them in the Pennsylvania counties mentioned and in the ponds about Trenton, N. J.

Up to 1878 New York was the only port that was in the leech-import business, but in that year New Orleans also began their importation, while San Francisco has long been the third importer. In San Francisco the business is in the hands of a French woman Madame Patural. They are imported during most of the year, but only to a slight extent in summer, as they are easily killed by an excess of heat. In June, July and August the mortality in the East sometimes reaches as high as 25 per cent. They are brought here packed in swamp earth in air and water-tight wooden cases, holding 1,500 leeches each. These cases are made rather light, and are about twenty-one inches long, fifteen inches wide, and thirteen inches high. In shipping leeches from place to place in this country the same cases are used for sending large quantities, and tight wooden pails for smaller numbers, the packing of swamp earth being also employed. American leeches, on the contrary, are kept best in water, in earthen or glass jars in a cool place. In the case of very large quantities storage ponds are employed, the principal being on Long Island, between Winfield and Newtown.

Though but slightly used now, there are few people who do not know that the leech is used as a blood-letting machine, its use dating back to Galen, and the process by which it fills itself with blood being graphically described by naturalists who lived contemporaneously with Pliny and Herodotus. Cupping and leeching were the curative methods employed in all febrile disorders, and indeed for almost any ill. They were applied to any part of the skin, as well as to the mouth and other available inlets. When the distinct locality was to be attacked the leech was applied in a thimble or leech glass, the latter being a small tube with a slightly contracted opening, and sometimes provided with a glass piston for pushing master leech on. In the case of brain fever or concussion of the brain the leeches were simply laid on by the doctor, sometimes as many as two dozen hanging on at the same time. So prominent a part of the doctor's practice, indeed, was this application of leeches that the doctor himself was often called "a leech" or a "learned leech" as by any other title. — San Francisco Chronicle.

Microscopic Writing: Eight Bibles to the Square Inch

1895

MICROSCOPIC WRITING

The Wonders That May Be Accomplished In a Square Inch of Space

Among the collection of microscopic objects in the United States Army Medical museum at Washington is a specimen of microscopic writing on glass which contains the Lord's Prayer, written in characters so small that the entire 227 letters of that petition are engraved within an area measuring 1-294 by 1-441 of an inch.

So far this statement does not trouble us. If, however, we go a little further, we easily find that the area having the above dimensions would be only the 1-129,654 of a square inch, and consequently that an inch square covered with writing of the same size, or counting 227 letters to each such fraction, would contain 29,431,458 letters.

Let us put this figure into a concrete form by seeing how much of a book this number of letters would represent. The Bible is a book of which we may safely assume that every one has an approximate idea as regards its general size or extent. Some one has actually determined the number of letters contained in the entire Old and New Testaments and finds this to be 3,566,480. Hence the number of letters which a square inch of glass would accommodate, written out like the text of the Lord's Prayer on this strip of glass, is more than eight times this last number, or, in other words, a square inch of glass would accommodate the entire text of the Bible eight times over written out as is the Lord's Prayer on this strip of glass.

I am free to confess that, though this fact has been known to me since 1873, and I have had in my possession photographs taken with the microscope of this writing, I cannot say that I fully apprehend or mentally grasp the fact just stated. I can form no mental picture of a square inch of glass with the entire text of eight Bibles engraved upon it, and yet when I have verified the measurements and calculations leading up to this conclusion I feel absolutely certain as to its truth, not as the result of intuition, but as a deduction from experience which has not yet developed into an intuitive consciousness. — Dr. Henry Morton in Cassier's Magazine.

An Artist's Fad, and Wycliffe's Bible

1916

An Artist's Fad

A Parisian artist in lieu of a picture gallery has a collection of great painters' palettes, some 500 in number, among them being Corot's, Isabey's and Theodore Rousseau's. On many of the palettes are sketches by the painters who used them.


Wycliffe's Bible

John Wycliffe completed the translation of the whole Bible for the first time into the language of the English people. He was born near Richmond, in Yorkshire, about 1324.


A Case of Fifty-Fifty

"Half the world doesn't know how the other half lives."
That's the half that minds its own business probably." — Philadelphia Ledger.


Fair Enough

"Yes," we admitted, "it's a fine car. and we'd be glad to own it but we can't afford to buy it, and there's no use wasting your breath trying to persuade us."
"Listen," pleaded the agent, "this car isn't going to cost you a cent. All you've got to do is to take out an accident policy in our favor and the car is yours. We'll even pay the premium on the policy. Can anything be fairer than that?" — St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Comment: I'll admit it, I don't get that last one. It must be a comment on the high cost of car insurance, that they'll give you a free car just to take your money on a policy. It's sort of like with instant cameras a few years ago; they were very cheap but the film's what got you.

A City of Change - Ephesus

1916

Ephesus, Once on the Seacoast, Is Now Located Far Inland

Sir William Ramsay characterizes Ephesus as the "City of Change." And truly it has seen marvelous changes and its inhabitants many removals. In the days of St. Paul and St. John Ephesus was a city of the seacoast; the waters of the Aegean lapped its busy wharves. Now the traveler to Ephesus can scarcely imagine that he is near the sea. To all appearances he is as far away as on one of our inland prairies. The Cayster during all these ages has brought down mud and silt from the mountains until now Ephesus is miles from the seashore. Even in St. John's time the port was kept open only by strenuous effort and constant dredging.

These changes wrought by nature have compelled frequent changes on the part of the inhabitants. The original city was built not far from Ayasolouk and "the whole Ephesian valley was an arm of the sea dotted with rocky islands and bordered by picturesque mountains and wooded promontories," we are told. As the sea receded in the course of the centuries the population moved with it until the Roman city, the city of St. Paul and St. John, was some miles from the original site.

At last this port became impossible and the inhabitants moved farther back, nearer to the site of the more ancient city, where today the few inhabitants that still remain are found.

—Stevens Point Daily Journal, Stevens Point, Wisconsin, July 29, 1916, page 3.

Ten Benefits of Literature Named by Brown in Talk

1922

"Literature — Why Study It," is Subject of English Lecture

"Literature is the textbook on human nature," said H. G. Brown, instructor in English, Tuesday afternoon at the Law building in his lecture on "Literature — Why Study It." Ten benefits which can be derived from reading literature were given. "Knowledge of human nature is acquired better through familiarity with the masterpieces than even real life," Brown declared. Brown, who explained that one can associate with a man for month without knowing him as well as you could know Macbeth or Hamlet in four hours. "Literature gives all the significant details of a man's life in complete sequence, while real life gives only glimpses."

"Literature is a cure for provincialism. With this as the medium we may travel and know the world from the Moab of Ruth to the Mississippi Valley of Tom Sawyer," said Mr. Brown. "We may travel back over great periods of time and know the common people of the fourteenth century through Chaucer's Prologue. We may travel up and down through unfamiliar society."

—The Capital Times, Madison, Wisconsin, July 27, 1922, page 8.

The Treacle Bible Goes Back At Least to 1701

1920

Interesting Old Bible

One of the original owners of the Treacle Bible, living in the eighteenth century, had made notations on the fly leaf concerning "John, who was born on Friday the 10th of February, 1769, at a quarter after eight at night, was baptized at Crossgate church on March 16 following, by the Reverend Mr. Wheeler, who died of smallpox, 12th Aprile, 1709, and was buried the next day at Crossgate church, aged eight weeks and five days." Other deaths, marriages and births were dated as far back as 1701-1702.


Progressing Rapidly

For the fourth time a new baby had arrived at the home of Robert's sister Nellie. When informed of the event one of his aunts told him in an impressive manner that he was now an uncle for the fourth time. Rather fussed, the little fellow answered: "Goodness me, if things keep on I'll soon be a grandpa."


Novelty Soon Wears Off

An experienced young woman told us the other day that there is a time in every engaged girl's life when about a day's growth of beard adds to her thrill, but that after the novelty wears off clean shaving is much preferred.- Ohio State Journal.

—Bedford Gazette, Bedford, Pennsylvania, January 9, 1920, page 10.

Brother Oliver Preaches Great Sermon on Noah's Flood

Ada, Oklahoma, 1906
---------
OLIVER PREACHED GRAND SERMON TUESDAY NIGHT

Bro. Oliver was at his best at the Tuesday night service, and his sermon was one of the best that we have ever heard in Ada. His text, "And the Lord said unto Noah, 'Come thou and all thy family into the ark'" is found in Gen., vii, 1.

Mr. Oliver began by reviewing the results of scientific investigation as to the age of the earth and the date of the creation. He concluded this by saying that no two scientists agree upon the age of the earth. The estimates vary from a few thousands to many hundreds of millions of years. We must, therefore, reach the inevitable conclusion that we only know that man was created and not when. Mr. Oliver gave a brief review of man's history from the day of his creation to his destruction by the flood. The basic thought of the sermon was that as God called Noah into the ark before the great flood, He is now calling all into the ark of salvation.

"People made fun of Noah when he responded to the command of his God to build an ark. Perhaps his family was snubbed by the social leaders of his neighborhood. People called him an old stogy, and mocked and scoffed at him. But Noah said, 'God will send plenty of water.' He will always flood the soul when his children obey his commands. You will not get a blessing while you are playing the hypocrite." Mr. Oliver quit his line of thought just here long enough to condemn hypocrisy in the local church. He said that those who drive to Byrd's mill or any other mill on Sunday ought to be turned out of the churches. "There are hypocrites right here in Ada who are dragging men and women to hell." Mr. Oliver asked, "Are you fulfilling the command God has made of you?"

"Just as the people were indifferent and reveling in sin while Noah was building the ark, people are today turning an indifferent ear to the warning that God will again destroy this old world and all with it who do not take heed now and make their eternity secure in the ark of the blood of Jesus Christ."

Mr. Oliver attacked the theory of the Universalists, who say that God is too good to punish his people. "The same devil who told Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit, that no harm would come to her, tells the Universalists that God is too good to punish those who disobey Him."

Mr. Oliver's description of the filling of the ark with birds, beast and man; the dastardly work of the uncompromising waters and the awful end that befell all living creatures was eloquent, graphic and picturesque. He painted a lifelike picture, which will always be remembered by those who heard him.

Mr. Oliver pleaded that the families of Ada let God shut them in the ark of salvation just as He shut Noah and his family in the literal ark. "It means eternity security. I pray God that He save you from the storm of judgment."


Announcements.
Mr. Oliver will preach a farewell sermon to the Christian people Sunday morning at 11 o'clock on the "Baptism of the Holy Spirit."

On Sunday afternoon he will preach to men only. Subject, "Manhood."

--The Evening News, Ada, Oklahoma, August 8, 1906, page 1.

Comment: This is a great article. I like how Mr. Oliver dispenses with the whole issue of the age of the earth. Then the mocking that Noah must have received is a nice part. As for Byrd's mill, I don't know what that is, but apparently some worldly behavior went on there, dancing, maybe drinking, I'd guess. Finally, the article writer's review of the sermon, one of the best ever heard and to be remembered always, is classic. I love it.

Book Agent Routed By Lawyer's Quiz

Caller Was Selling Bibles, but Couldn't Name Author.

Vice President Marshall, when still a struggling lawyer in Indiana, was sitting in his little office when a genial book agent entered and undertook to sell him a new edition of the Bible, "full morocco, annotated," etc.

Before the agent was through with his description of the merits of the new volume, Marshall interrupted him to ask who the author was.

"W-h-y, this is the Bible," explained the agent.

"I am fully aware of that," answered Marshall, in full soberness, "but I ask again, who is the author?"

Again the salesman explained that he was offering the Bible. Again, Marshall demanded the name of the author, and the demand and the explanation were repeated in varying forms again and again.

Finally the man of the books gathered up his samples, retreated to the door, and then, with one hand on the knob, turned around and shouted:

"You pinheaded fool and blithering idiot, it's the Bible."

--The Saturday Blade, Chicago, May 22, 1920, page 9.

The Husband of One Wife

He Quoted St. Paul

A Bishop's Blunder and the Clever Way It Was Corrected

A certain bishop of one of the middle states is described as a man who possessed great learning, but had not the saving sense of humor. In "Reminiscences of Bishops and Archbishops" Bishop Potter gives an instance of the absence of this quality.

It happened on one occasion that an episcopal election had come up for review in the house of bishops, and questions as to the bishop elect were being asked and answered with considerable freedom. A bishop who knew the bishop elect in a very intimate way was on his feet and was being catechised, when a bishop called out, "What kind of wife has our brother elect?"

"His present wife"— began the bishop thus challenged, when the middle state delegate sprang to his feet.

"One moment!" he cried. "Do I understand my brother aright? Did he say 'his present wife,' and am I to understand that by that phrase he means to imply that the brother elect has had a previous wife? Because, if so, I cannot vote for his confirmation. St. Paul says, 'A bishop must be the husband of one wife.'"

For a moment the house in which were a number of bishops who, having been bereaved of their earthly partners, had supplied their places, sat still in stunned silence, until a prelate, whose sense of humor was as keen as the last speaker's was feeble, rose in his place and said, "Do I understand that the bishop regards the language of the apostle which he has just quoted as mandatory?"

"Certainly!" exclaimed the man who had objected.

"Very well, then, Mr. Chairman," said the interrogating bishop blandly, "if the bishop regards the language of St. Paul, when be says that a bishop must be the husband of one wife, as mandatory, I should like to ask him what he proposes to do with the bishop of" — naming a bachelor bishop — "who hasn't any?"

There was a shout of laughter, amid which the bishop who had objected took his seat, hushed and angry. The humor of his blunder was wholly unperceived by him.

--The Indiana Weekly Messenger, Indiana, Pennsylvania, September 18, 1907, page 3.

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Pointed Paragraphs

Every good farmer has three or four jobs laid up for a rainy day.

The man who is old enough to know better is usually old enough to die.

People talk about "different temperaments," when they really mean different tempers.

Some men are so mean they like to take their wives' advice so they can tell them later how worthless it was.

There is this important difference between a friend and kin: Every time you see the friend you don't have to explain something.

How "set" old people are in their ways! If an elderly person should be asked to change his seat at the table, how it would rattle him!

People are not devoted to your interests. You must have noticed it. Therefore you should give your interests a lot of intelligent attention. For if you don't do it no one will. -- Atchison Globe.

The Indiana Weekly Messenger, Indiana, Pennsylvania, September 18, 1907, page 3.

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"Please" To Be Omitted

Hereafter the 450 girl operators of the Keystone Telephone company of Philadelphia will not say "please" to the subscriber and the subscribers have been requested not to say "please" to the operator. A. J. Ulrich, traffic manager of the company, has issued the order and both the girls and the subscribers are happy with the new arrangement. According to Mr. Ulrich the girls, in answering calls and the patrons in making them, use the word "please" 900,000 times every 24 hours. Estimating that it requires half a second to say the word 7,500 minutes are consumed every 24 hours, which is equal to 125 hours that are lost every day by the use of the word.

The above would be a good ruling in any telephone company. It would save nerve exhaustion and telephone girls would not break down so soon in their onerous duties.

--The Indiana Weekly Messenger, Indiana, Pennsylvania, September 18, 1907, page 5.