How to Keep Your Friends

1901

"The less you exact of your friends the more they will give you," writes Helen Watterson Moody of "The First Tragedy In a Girl's Life" in The Ladies' Home Journal.

"For yourself give as richly and as nobly as you want to of your love and your confidence and your loyalty. Live up to your highest ideal of what a friend should be (and the higher you make that ideal the finer woman you will be and the more friends will flock to you), but never exact of your friends that they shall give you more than they choose easily to give. If someone you love disappoints you — and as many, many more will do in days to come — do not hold up your ideal of what they should be and do as a mirror in which to count their imperfections. Let it pass, if you can, with a little smile that may be sad, but need not be at all satirical. And never be jealous of a friend if you want to keep one. If anybody you are fond of forms other friendships or seems to be engrossed with other friends, do not let it make you unhappy and, above all, never comment upon her all too evident neglect of her old friends for her new ones."

Gibbon on Fame and Happiness

1910

Edward Gibbon, the historian, was not one to underestimate the pleasures of intellectual occupation or the value of literary fame. "I have drawn a high prize in the lottery of life," he wrote in his autobiography. "I am disgusted with the affectation of men of letters who complain that they have renounced a substance for a shadow, and that their fame affords a poor compensation for envy, censure and persecution.

"My own experience has taught me a very different lesson; twenty happy years have been animated by the labors of my history and its success has given me a name, a rank, a character in the world to which I should otherwise not have been entitled.

"D'Alembert relates that as he was walking in the gardens of Sans Souci with the king of Prussia, Frederick said to him, 'Do you see that old woman, a poor weeder, asleep on that sunny bank? She is probably a more happy being than either of us.'

"The king and philosopher may speak for themselves; for my part, I do not envy the old woman." — Youth's Companion.


Social Requirement

When a young girl appears at the theater with a young man who is a stranger in town, she should circulate a note among her friends telling who he is. It is very hard for the women to enjoy a performance with their curiosity unsatisfied. — Atchison Globe.

Social Memory

1900

Henry Fawcett, says Sir Edward Russell, had an extraordinary memory for persons. One night Sir Edward was in the House of Commons, to hear a debate, under the gallery.

A friend introduced him to Mr. Fawcett, who, learning why he was there, said:

"Oh, then you can look after my old father, and tell him who the people are. He is going under the gallery, too."

Three or four years later, Sir Edward was presented to Mr. Fawcett, who was then chief guest at a political dinner, and said to him, in "the usual conventional mumble:"

"I once had the pleasure of being introduced to you, Mr. Fawcett, but it's a long time ago." "I remember," said he, "you very kindly looked after my father under the gallery at the House." And this was the memory of a man totally blind. — Youth's Companion.

Short Shorts

1900

Conventional Wisdom

The duelist's aim is at the point of honor.

Some business men only win financial success through failures.

The fresh young man is generally not worth his salt.

If a lazy man is comfortable he is happy.

The woman who is fond of home isn't necessarily homely.

A vain woman is like a street piano — she is full of airs.

Never judge a man by his relatives — they are not of his own selection.

Every man who isn't prominent imagines he will be some day.

The boy who works in a bowling alley earns his pin money.

The aristocratic dentist should be a man of excellent extraction.

There are few people who think they are worse than they really are.

Wit is a diamond in the rough that is polished by adversity.

The only step from the sublime to the ridiculous is usually a short one.

The flustrated bride usually has all sorts of presence except presence of mind.

He who lacks time to make also lacks time to mend.

A woman who probably speaks from experience says a husband who can be led isn't worth leading.

You will observe that men who post as fancy whistlers seldom amount to much.

Return good for evil. If your enemy heaps coals of fire on your head, pile chunks of ice on his.

Leave Taking When Visiting Someone

1902

A little nicety of leave-taking that is practiced by a certain well-bred woman, says the Dundee News, is to rise to end the visit while she is the speaker. In this way she is apparently leaving while she is much interested.

This is better than to start at the end of a pause, or to jump up the moment your hostess's voice drops. One way implies boredom; the other waiting for a chance to get away. This may seem a trifle of observance, but it is worth while if only to train one's self in the habit of easy leave-taking -- a rare accomplishment even among women with wide social experience. Once standing, leave promptly, and avoid spinning out a second visit in the hall.

Eight Rules For Popularity

1902

First — Remember that a good voice is as essential to self-possession as good ideas are essential to fluent language. The voice should be carefully trained and developed. A full, clear, flexible voice is one of the surest indications of good breeding.

Second — Remember that one may be witty without being popular, voluble without being agreeable, a great talker and yet a great bore.

Third — Be sincere. One who habitually sneers at everything not only renders herself disagreeable to others but will soon cease to find pleasure in life.

Fourth — Be frank. A frank, open countenance and a clear, cheery laugh are worth far more even socially than "pedantry in a stiff cravat."

Fifth — Be amiable. You may hide a vindictive nature under a polite exterior for a time, as a cat masks its sharp claws in velvet fur, but the least provocation brings out one as quickly as the other, and ill-natured people are always disliked.

Sixth — Be sensible. Society never lacks for fools, and what you consider very entertaining nonsense may soon be looked upon as very tiresome folly.

Seventh — Be cheerful. If you have no great trouble on your mind you have no right to render other people miserable by your long face and dolorous tones. If you do you will generally be avoided.

Eighth — Above all, be cordial and sympathetic. True cordiality and sympathy unite all the other qualities enumerated, and are certain to secure the popularity so dear to every one. — New York World.

Socialist Learns Not To Discuss Politics During War

Indiana, 1917

THIS IS NO TIME TO DISCUSS POLITICS

Thomas McGuire, Socialist, Learned a "Bit" on Friday

When a common purpose wells in every man's breast is no time to argue politics, admits J. T. McGuire, 2017 Walton avenue, carpenter and socialist.

McGuire leaned heavily on the bar of a down town saloon Friday night and boisterously mentioned that the young men who are flocking to the colors in answer to the war call are "dubs, because they don't know what they are going to fight about."

Several citizens attacked the man and Patrolman Brandt arrived just in time to quiet talk about forming a lynching party. McGuire was taken to jail on a charge of intoxication, pleaded guilty to the complaint in police court Saturday morning and was fined $5 and costs. He paid his fine.

"I am through talking politics until this war is over," McGuire told reporters after the court session. "This is no time to start an argument."

Henry Bair, who was also taken on an intoxication charge and who admitted that he attacked McGuire, "for insulting our loyal lads," was released by Judge Kerr.

—The Fort Wayne Sentinel, Fort Wayne, Indiana, April 7, 1917, p. 18.