Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Lovers' Statistics


How the Man Who Dares Acts When He Goes Courting.

Out of 100 cases 36 gentlemen take lady in arms, 67 gentlemen kiss lady on lips, 4 gentlemen kiss lady on cheek, 8 gentlemen show very good taste by kissing lady on eyes, 2 gentlemen kiss lady on hand. It is to be presumed that those two out of 100 are the timid, diffident kind, though it is possible that they might be of the quietly sentimental nature. One gentleman kisses lady on nose. It must be added that the statistician is careful to insert the saving clause "by mistake."

There is even a record of a man kissing a lady on the edge of her shawl; but, thank goodness, there is only one in 100, and the chances are that this man is peculiar.

Seventy-two hold lady's hand, 17 hold it very tightly, 14 have lumps in their throats and 9 exclaim aloud, "Thank God!" Only 7 out of 100 declare themselves to be deliriously happy, and 5 are too full for utterance.

Three out of 100 stand on one foot when they make a proposal, and 2 go down on one knee, while 9 make a formal prelude, something like the slow music at the play, we suppose, when the villain appeals to heaven to witness the consuming flame of his affections for the heart he plots to ruin, etc. — New York Advertiser.

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