He Was Too Critical

1895

Everybody is familiar with the adverse criticisms passed by shopkeepers on articles not purchased from them. Here is an instance:

A woman had a handsome Russian sable skin presented to her, with head and feet in perfect condition. She took it to a furrier to have it made into a boa. The furrier examined it closely.

"Beautiful skin, isn't it?" remarked the woman.

"Yes," replied the shopman, "but I don't think you have the right kind of a head on it."

"Well," returned the woman, "as it happens to be the kind that God put on it, I think it will stay." — New York Herald.


Umbrellas

When the empress of Austria first married, it was thought highly improper for royalty to carry an umbrella. Consequently whenever it threatened to rain she was unable to have her accustomed walk. She moped so much that her husband declared that henceforth umbrellas should not be contrary to etiquette.


New Within

A hermit who lives in one of the towns near Belfast, Mo., mystified the people of the vicinity not long ago by a continuous sawing and hammering in the ark of a house which constituted his home. But one fine morning the people looked up toward the hill where the residence stood and rubbed their eyes in amazement, for in place of the rambling old house that had formerly stood there was a new cottage. The whole affair was then clear. The hermit had built a new house inside the old one. — Philadelphia Ledger.