Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Retort Courteous


The heavy swell had inadvertently met the man not in his set the night before, and after the manner of an apostle of swelldom he had not been at any pains to cultivate the acquaintance. In fact, he had been really rude. A night or two after the two men met again and were introduced. This time the swell tried a bluff.

"I believe we have met before," said the common man. "Ah?" responded the swell. "Yes. Don't you remember — at the club?" "Really?" The common man began to get hot. "Didn't I meet a gentleman of your name three evenings ago at the club?" he asked. "Ah, I think not." "Well, really," said the common man, "I owe you an apology. I thought he was a gentleman, but I guess I must be mistaken. Good evening." And Mr. Swell took it like a lamb, only he became red in the face, which a lamb never does. — Detroit Free Press.

A Prize Sentiment and a Preposition

"Never write anything you would not sign your name to," was one of the sentiments which won a prize at the Boston Press club's dinner recently. It is a good principle, although the author should have borne in mind the immortal maxim that "a preposition should never be used to end a sentence with." John Boyle O'Reilly anticipated the sentiment when he said, "Never do anything as a journalist which you would not do as a gentleman." — Boston Pilot.

Life's Weary Round

Mother — You don't look very happy.
Married Daughter — Love in a cottage, with bread and cheese and kisses, isn't what it's cracked up to be.
"Just as I told you. You are tired of bread and cheese already."
"N-o, not tired of the bread and cheese — tired of the kisses." — New York Weekly.


Sergeant Davy was once accused of having disgraced the bar by taking silver from a client, the etiquette of the profession in London requiring that his fee should be in gold. "I took silver," he replied, "because I could not get gold, but I took every farthing the fellow had in the world, and I hope you do not call that disgracing the profession." — London Tit-Bits.

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