Tuesday, June 10, 2008

A Scotsman's Humor


A notable instance of Mark Tapleyism, not to say heroism, was supplied recently at the Royal infirmary. The case was in the hands of Professor Barlow and was that of an iron worker who had met with a frightful accident. As a result of an explosion in a furnace a piece of redhot iron four inches in length imbedded itself in the man's eye and cheek, necessitating the removal of the dreadfully burned eyeball. This done, the question arose among those present at the operation as to the nature of the metal extracted, when the patient himself, with extraordinary nerve, asked to be allowed to handle the substance, and pronouncing it to be cast iron quaintly added, "Better send it back to the works, or they'll be having me up for stealing!" — Glasgow News.

Poor Business Instinct

Irate Landlady — I want you to take back that folding bed you sold me, and I want my money back. One of my boarders smothered to death in it, and he owed me a week's board.
Furniture Dealer — Madam, you have no business sense. If you were in the habit of making your boarders pay a month in advance, you would have been away ahead. — Cincinnati Tribune.

One Good Point

Waiter (to gentleman who is looking at napkin half full of holes) — I'll bring you another napkin.
Diner — Never mind. The holes seem to be clean. — London Tit-Bits.

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