Wouldn't Trust the Angel Gabriel

1895

Mrs. Sarah T. Rorer of culinary fame declares that she will touch the meat of no fowl that she has not seen prepared and cleaned herself. "Why, when I had typhoid fever some years ago," she says, "and the doctor ordered me to take chicken broth, I replied, 'Very well, doctor, but I shan't take it if any one other than myself cleans the chicken.' Seeing that I was firm, he at length said that the cleaning might be done right by my bedside. And so it was, and I lived on chicken broth for seven weeks. For 49 mornings was the fowl brought to my bedside and carefully cleaned by my maid under my direct and personal supervision. There's not one person in a thousand who knows how to clean a chicken anyway, and for my part I would not trust the angel Gabriel in such particular work." — Philadelphia Times.


Terribly Afflicted

A woman living in one of the fashionable avenues had a bit of statuary bearing the inscription "Kismet." The housemaid was dusting the room one day when the mistress appeared.
"Shure, ma'am, what's the m'anin of the 'ritin on the bottom of this?" asked the maid, referring to the inscription on the statuary.
"'Kismet' means fate," replied the mistress.
Bridget was limping painfully when she was walking with Pat not long afterward; and he asked:
"Phwat's the matter, Bridget?"
"Faith," was her answer, "I have the most tirrible korns on me kismet!" — New York Herald.