Wanted It Out Anyway

1895

My friend, the major, tells me some good stories about the gallant men who inhabit the marine barracks at Charlestown. The latest incident involves a brave sergeant who was going the rounds one night to see that all the lights were out in the barracks rooms. Coming to a room where he thought he saw a lamp shining, he roared, "Put out that light there!"

"It's the moon, sergeant!" replied one of the soldiers.

Not hearing very well, the sergeant cried in return: "I don't care what it is! Put it out!" — Boston Globe.


Worry

Worry annually kills more people than work, for worry fatigues the nerves, but it is useless to tell people of nervous temperaments not to worry. One should strive, however, to avoid all things that tend to disturb the nerves. Throw away a pen that scratches and a pencil that has a bit of hard lead in its make up. Discard a needle that "squeaks" and a basin that leaks. Use sharp tools and wear soft garments. Oil the hinges of the rheumatic door and fasten the creaking blind. — Philadelphia Ledger.


Out of Sight

Mrs. Witherby — I think I shall have my new bonnet trimmed with bats' wings.
Witherby — Don't they come high?
Mrs. Witherby — Yes, my dear, the kind of bats you know about come very high. — New York Herald.