Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Artificial Mud


We have heard of false teeth, false hair, counterfeit jewelry and imitation diamonds, but artificial mud is a decided novelty. And what is it used for? The large Paris dry goods houses have long used the mud of the Paris streets for testing the wearing qualities of new colors and shades. Any new tint that could not stand the influence of Paris mud was thrown out. But to experiment with mud was unpleasant, unclean, unhealthy! So an imitation of the genuine article was ordered of a chemist, who furnished a solution of carbonate of ammonia, carbonate of potassium, sulphite of soda and sea salt in water, which naturally takes the place of mud in the color tests of new dress goods.

Mud, your name is mud again! — Philadelphia Press.

His Scheme

Friend — How is this? I thought you were to be called as a witness in that trial.
Sharp — I got out of it.
"Eh? Why, I heard both sides were after you."
"I scared them both off."
"Crikey! How!"
"Told 'em that if I was called I would tell the truth." — London Tit-Bits.

Indispensable Feature

"You call this a fair, do you?" said the visitor from Skedunk, looking about him in disgust.
"Certainly," replied the young and pretty maid at one of the booths. "It's a fair — a church fair. Is there anything about it that displeases you?"
"Is there?" snorted the other. "Where's your Midway plaisance?" — Chicago Tribune.

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