Monday, July 14, 2008

He Settled


"Dere you vas, you driflin buppy!"

A picturesquely attired old German lady, with a broad, ruddy face, marred by a ferocious scowl, had stopped a handsomely dressed young fellow who was just in the act of stepping off the curb at the corner of Fourth and Walnut streets to cross the street.

"Vy you don't bay me dot fife tollar you vas owe me? You dinks I vash — vash for nodings?"

Two young ladies near by were amused listeners, and the young man was visibly embarrassed.

"My good woman, on what grounds do you claim I owe you $5?"

"Vot grounds? Vot — vot" —

In her rage she brought one big foot down heavily on the slushy pavement.

"Vot grounds? Dese grounds right here — Fourdt and Valnut, und I vant my money."

The young man paid her on "the grounds" mentioned. — Cincinnati Tribune.

Smokers' Cramp

A disease has appeared in Europe which has been styled smokers' cramp. It is very similar in its effects to writers' cramp, or scriveners' palsy. The disease is caused by rolling cigarettes with one hand. For many years it has been common to Spain, although some smokers are so expert as to make a cigarette with a single twist of the fingers. Since a law was recently passed in France permitting the manufacture of handmade cigarettes large numbers of girls have been employed in rolling cigarettes by hand.

It is among them that the disease has appeared. In Spain, however, it is not confined to the cigarette girls, but is a common ailment. — Philadelphia Record.

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